Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
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Top comments
Grootensliven 10
And not a shit was given that day
Lucia_Malpense 14
At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.
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Comments (111)
Imhere4fml 24
Mmm fly juice... You should try bumble bee tea OP, it has a sweet taste.
GoodLookingGeese 10
There's nothing wrong with continuing this drink, the alcohol kills germs and you're being frugal
HouseElf 13
What if OP was drinking water...or juice...or milk? Milk would be the grossest in my opinion 'cos you would see whatever remained of the fly corpse rather clearly
thrifting 18
BUMBLEBEETUNA
cBlackout 13
Well. Thanks 46. Now that godawful song is going to be stuck in my head until I fall asleep. You're an evil, evil person.
jojimugo 20
Am just happy my country was mentioned on fml. I know it's sad but am happy
Nicholi124 10
What does op means?
13ky13 20
Orange pickle.
dabum18 5
What does op mean? I am new to fml thanks
Osito2011 9
Open potty!
Kingbreezy04 10
Obtuse Penises
Matt_greener 8
Octopus pussy
fdupagain 11
Google it. Urban dictionary.
GoodLookingGeese 10
So how is it to live in Kenya?
jojimugo 20
If you have money beautiful if you don't it sucks big time ... I guess it's like any other place but with a lot of corruption
lfrider92 21
Sucks not to live in America...
tlecomer 2
In that context, I believe the word is " 'Murica".
Whytetrash 21
Sucks for America to have arrogant twats like you to tarnish its reputation
Grootensliven 10
And not a shit was given that day
IscoreOnU 19
Uhh... Might have been alot of ***** that day...
cBlackout 13
One of which was most likely in that drink.
lovealwayssam 14
I always thought flies threw up when they landed, not pooped. *the more you know*
Starv 6
And not a single ****** was given that day
Cbizzlez 10
55- you can give a shit but you cannot give a ****
verkaderk 9
0. 0 ***** given today
SenselessPattern 12
69- Unless you're a prostitute, of course.
marxistbkly 3
Are you the one who keeps emailing?
Lucia_Malpense 14
At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.
hannaaaahr 33
Apparently flies are very nutritious, OP should try it sometime!
ICastillo 25
#20 I don't think flies are insects being the nutritious type. They're more like the disgusting poo eating insects that are annoying and buzz around your face when you're trying to sleep.
JanisEvans 10
All the good protein wasted...
Felling 14
And not a single **** was given that day.
tydude64 12
At least he said the right phrase. I up voted this guy and down voted the other guy. Accuracy is key.
1215116a 14
Look at the post times.
DerrickJames 33
You have reached a new level of existence. Bye bye consumerism.
Whytetrash 21
That's alright, it's good for the immune system!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
At least you're not held back by the anxiety people have over petty things like here in the US. If there was a fly in a drink here you could expect a law suit against nature :P Honestly, I commend you for your awesomeness. On the other hand, that's unsanitary!! Please call Poison Control immediately to remove your uvula!! Good for you, OP.
Michael_92 20
That's a whole bunch o crazy in one comment.
omg36 7
Lol at how you say they're lucky for not living in the US where you'd get sued for a fly in your drink, and then tell them to contact poison control. In ******* Kenya. You're obviously the biggest and most hypocritical asshole alive. Just saying.
Sinkhole 26
94 - What makes you think there's no poison control in Kenya? It seems like you need to step out of your bubble, and at least google this stuff. There /is/ a Kenya Pharmacy and Poisons Board.
HotsyTotsy 8
Seriously? #9 was being sarcastic...you people are the crazy ones.
chanellgymnast 17
You go Glen Coco!
thatsvintage 6
And none for Raulhijazi, bye.
tannerianian 11
Damn dude that sucks. Stay positive and I'd invest in a bug zapper..
wolfshadow 4
What if his cup happened to be under the bug zapper? You'd have more than just one fly in your drink..