Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill
batman_516 9
I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.
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Comments (269)
mikechek 3
Just make it seem like fantasy football and he'll probably be more into it
rae_munchkin 6
You should have made a calendar of next month showing him roughly what you wanted it to look like.
boredfishing 0
How about it just happens when it happens? You put pressure on something to happen and people lose interest
perdix 31
Hey, you idiots, even though it's called a ******** and a hand JOB, it's not literally a JOB! I don't want to make numbers, I want to make bacon! ;)
vic1226 0
FHL
aerogxt 7
Quality over quantity. ;)
grapes1414 0
start marking down the days you want to ! Keep the schedule lmao ! Fill up the whole calendar
fatraptorjesus13 9
do you think spelling words like an imbecile is cute or funny?
ladychocolate_fml 0
stop being lazy and go jump on it ydi for not being aggressive be a woman and stop crying like a lil girl.....
TipOfTheHat 10
I think the fact that you want "some" from your boyfriend says alot! It's one of the "keys" to a relationship. Whether you keep score or not, just make a move on him every night, spice it up if need be. More importantly ask him what he wants from your sessions and if he has any fantasies! Ask and ye shall receive!
greedyhands 0
You're a bitch