Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill
batman_516 9
I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.
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Comments (269)
fuzz97 23
If I was him I'd break up with you for being a demanding, whiny harpy.
Freeze_fml 17
Bitch mode activated.
lovefml987 1
Agreed but that's not what she said
Rachel817 1
I keep track of how many times my husband and I have sex. It is helpful information when you are trying to have a baby.
xSwag5 0
Fat uglies don't get laid by anything they want to count. That's why you don't keep score. treadmill time!
SovietMaxx 4
If you are that much of a bitch that you make a calendar of when you have sex then complain that it is not enough while showing the calendar to your boyfriend you don't deserve to have a boyfriend.
laceyanneman 7
Yeah I don't think the calendar method is working for you...
ColCyclone 17
Selfish bitch
Dakota1967 3
Youre an idiot. Youre saying a girl who wants more sex is a selfish bitch? Youre definately still a virgin. Go jerk off to the jonas brothers
chokey2 5
If I were ur guy i'd leave for a while cuz that's weird
Dakota1967 3
I like your style! I dont think you're obsessed or weird.
v4extreme 6
See, instead of doing that, you could have been ******* him.