Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fakedsincerity 32
Some people just have incompatible sex drives. He's wrong to call you names for expressing what you need to be happy. I hope you guys can talk it out and compromise so you're both happy and can have your needs met.
magikarpsmurfs 19
I think it's time to discuss with your husband that people not just yourself have needs. Those needs are normal & should be taken care of by those committed to you. AKA your husband.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
fakedsincerity 32
Some people just have incompatible sex drives. He's wrong to call you names for expressing what you need to be happy. I hope you guys can talk it out and compromise so you're both happy and can have your needs met.
aruden 25
They may need to just talk and experiment trying different things, he might not really enjoy the sex as it is so he doesn't want to do it often.
funsizedliz 16
He's stupid asf.
panicsdisaster 17
#44 wait til you get older and lose your sex drive. then try saying the same thing.
funsizedliz 16
Ohohoho! Noo way bro.....
whitnayfortooh 29
I mean it would be understandable if while they were having sex she wasnt doing anything...I've had partners where I would do everything and its just no fun. try being wild. ya never know what he might be into...spice it up.
mountainmanmike 11
This is definitely a FYL, you have worse problems than not having sex! You communicated your needs and got back an insult, offering no explanation as to why he feels that way. Fix your communication pathways, and the flood gates of boing will break wide open!
magikarpsmurfs 19
I think it's time to discuss with your husband that people not just yourself have needs. Those needs are normal & should be taken care of by those committed to you. AKA your husband.
domolovesyoshi 33
They're not entitled to sex from anyone
rivaraven 35
No one HAS to have sex. They can be married, but his husband does not HAVE to have sex with her, if he really doesn't want to. Yes, it would be nice, but no one should be forced to have sex with anyone.
musoboy 22
#30 & #32: two words: conjugal rights. Consistent denial of sex is grounds for divorce.
whitevenom 12
30 and 32 are right. Although I feel for the wife but there's ALWAYS 2 sides to the story that people leave out. Like maybe it was starting to be more like a chore and not fun. Has happened to me before.
be82tw 17
@30, 32, 80 While you are right that no one should coerce someone else for sex, the notion that spouses have a responsibility to fulfill each other's needs and desires is fundamental to marriage, whether these needs are emotional, material, or sexual. She has identified a need she has, and rather than try to find some way to address that need, whatever that may mean for the two of them, her husband dismissed it. Sorry OP, FYL.
ZombieSazza 34
That makes you a nympho?! Oh honey, I feel for you! :( Maybe he just doesn't really have a sex drive and is quite happy? Seduce him? Get him in the mood? Make the first move and seduce your husband if you want more action. :)
Brandi_Faith 34
Maybe he needs to see a doctor too and possibly take something to up his sex drive.
Likian5 26
I'm actually more surprised he hadn't readily agreed to your proposal.
91hayek 31
Yeah on FML it usually the other way around.
ramu 7
I thought the stereotype was the other way around.
lulinator 40
Not in my case. I would have killed for once a month. But two and a half years without was enough for me to call it quits.
Jashie 18
And that is why it is called a stereotype
mct_1087 27
If this were the other way round, the commenters would be like "Divorce his ass."
Noreason89 6
I doubt it
fallenshadow16 25
I don't think they would say that, but it would definitely be more like "you shouldn't pressure her to have sex more", "you don't need sex to be happy", the world is very double standard
theaaxis 27
.... If it were the other way around it would be "divorce HER ass"....
Brandi_Faith 34
7 & 40, look at the above comments. There are a few that said that she shouldn't force or coerce him into having sex and that sex isn't needed in the marriage. (Although I kind of disagree with that last statement. A happy sex life is important in a marriage in my opinion.)
Stillo 25
Oh the joy of marriage ... :-| try to remind him of the old times were you guys had just met... (Unless you didn't had intercourse even back then..)
kred 21
That sucks, he needs to realize that women can have equal or Higher sex drives than men
Paco_el_Taco 17
Sounds like you should stock up on batteries...
chickypie1987 23
Sorry to hear op! And I thought once a week wasn't enough!
shemademedoit 20
woah ?
Llama_Face89 34
Once a week ISN'T enough!! XD
Gillett 23
Once a week isn't enough. My wife and I **** at least 3 times a week. Shit, we try every night but the kids keep waking up and knocking on the damn door, or I get home around midnight and need to be back at work for 8 am.
Soloman212 28
Dude if you're ******* so hard and loud that your own children have to come tell you to quiet down... Congrats I guess, but think of the children? Not during intercourse, but before it.
AshBash2211 14
Ha ha I was thinking the same thing!! I used to be an everyday girl. Working at 5am killed that though, I am just too tired. But if he wakes me up in the middle of the night for sex I never say no!
chickypie1987 23
It's not! More like daily is good