Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill
batman_516 9
I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.
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Comments (269)
CassieStrawbs 7
Lol that's weird.
69ing_Chipmunks 9
Maybe stop wasting your time with a calendar and go initiate it?
TheFunSideOfTheB 2
Even though im 15 ur right and nice profile pic great for all the pervs out there
imcutefml 0
Im pretty sure most guys would luv it if girls made the first move especially for sex
pandacruisn30 3
Most of the time that is the case but other guys feel turnoff by that! I would like to do the first step but I do not know how it will go and what if you offend the guy? I would just like to say "Hey xxxx lets have sex I am prepared!" but of course that doesn't work that way. Also I do not want to seem like a **** but I do like a good round of sex in the bed and giving head.
hannahcorrine 0
I see what you did there...
je_suis_fml 11
29- I'm having hard time seeing what you did... there. :-/
loserthegreat 11
lol thats the most awesome fml i ever heard!
ShadowedHuman 5
Selfish betch. Maybe if you tried forcing the issue it would happen more. Or maybe things came up in his life where he can't focus on you 24/7. Ydi, whatever it is.
Packer4 14
Your crazy
xSwag5 0
YOU'RE uneducated.
Mirorbo 27
Maybe you just need to calm down your own libido, darling. It DOES get exhausting, you know!
batman_516 9
Well that was uncalled for.
batman_516 9
Well that was uncalled for.
69ing_Chipmunks 9
Some people just have high sex drives. You can't really control when you get horney....
epicphails 0
Yes 44 your number one but... Who has a calendar for the times they have had sex why not do it every night duh
apt1234 3
I'll help improve the stats ;)
lcau322 0
sexfreak?