Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML
Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML
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Top comments
gabagabaheyu 10
maybe explain that a relationship isn't a business. there shouldn't be "quotas" for sex. it should just happen when it happens.
gracehi 33
Introduce him to the "**** Off" quota.
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Comments (77)
gabagabaheyu 10
maybe explain that a relationship isn't a business. there shouldn't be "quotas" for sex. it should just happen when it happens.
Roskosity 22
Or it doesn't have to happen at all. Especially with a guy that needs this explained to him.
incoherentrmblr 22
"Mmm, yeah, if you could not include a sex quota and just let it happen in time, that WOULD be great..." - Bill Lumbergh
Camri_123 11
I don't wanna like this just because it's at 69 likes.
399 41
I like the way you think #1.
MACARONInCHEESE 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Problem?
incoherentrmblr 22
I'd say so...
bunnyb 8
Am I the only one wondering if the reason he wanted to introduce the quota is cause she wanted it all the time and he was not keeping it up?
cherries62212 16
Tell him your quota is zero, and you won't go over that quota.
\ 28
At least let her earn some commission. Exemptions from cooking dinner, footrubs, etc.
91hayek 31
Is the quota to decrease or increase the incidences of copulation?
patrickalamo 48
Quota of zero equals her first right of refusal. Therefore, the second option should be exercised.
lex1459 38
#8 I hope this isn't how you treat any women in your life
\ 28
#39 - I hope you aren't treating the men in your life the same way you're treating me
Shrike 24
#43- How's that? Being held to a basic level of human decency? I can see why you're so opposed to the thought of something like that.
\ 28
Alright, now before we start prolapsing our rectums, I would like to affirm that my previous comment was a mere... "joke," albeit a very crappy and crude one. Yes, I am aware that itemizing anyone that way is a very immoral and douchey thing to do. Yes, I am aware that #39 has feelings for me. My apologies.
\ 28
And I also regret nothing.
lex1459 38
What a pig. Seriously.
\ 28
I am sure you call me a pig because you want a sausage. Sorry, I don't eat pork.
J3R3MYY 14
Seems like you two had a good heart to heart.
shyeahh_fml 19
In a serious relationship, both parties should cook dinner, offer foot rubs, and simply commit actions that the other party enjoys. If the man wishes to have more sex, then what's wrong with him offering to cook dinner more than half the time or offer foot rubs that can be redeemed at any time, even when he normally wouldn't? 8 simply said the increased sex could exempt the female party from her share of these things if said agreement was made, and I honestly didn't think of it as a "women's role" thing until you all started bitching at him/her. 8's comment was intended as a joke, sure, but I can see it as a serious agreement that could be made in a relationship to make both parties happier. Not every comment needs to be taken as a sexist one, and 8's comment definitely doesn't make him a "pig." Stop jumping on the overreaction bandwagon, because you're the people that make it difficult to have an open and rational discussion by making people afraid to speak.
OhNoAGhost 18
Incorporating sex into the weekly workout regimen?
Scynistr 20
Sex is the weekly workout regiment...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Its not official until you sign something
Roskosity 22
Sex-quota? All work, all play?
russfml 31
I think she means the amount of times they have sex per week
Roskosity 22
That's clear. I was making a play on "all work, no play."
olpally 33
What a douche, he has zero patience. Move along.
icnburbbygrl 23
Make a chore quota for him
thatkidmal 15
How romantic
gracehi 33
Introduce him to the "**** Off" quota.
dachayke 16
Emphasis on the second word.