Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
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Top comments
alexiiiis09 0
Yikes. That's why you should break up with someone in private
saIty 17
Operation make a scene in front of a crowd of people, to get girlfriend back, always works.
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Comments (214)
ChrisLTC 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is why you should just change your relationship status on Facebook. They get the idea, no scenes!
SteveTheJanitor 6
Or maybe you should just get the balls to go and break up with them face to face instead of using the easy way out eg. Facebook
poostool 5
Or ask him to snowball you. He will either leave quickly or you will have a snowballing freak on your hands.
ChrisLTC 3
Oh. Looks like I forgot to write my comment in sarcastic font. I sincerely apologise.
SteveTheJanitor 6
9: you are forgiven
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
It also gives them the idea you don't really care about them and never have.
Jesus_Christ69 0
1 - what are you 7? Be a man a do it face to face.
Jesus_Christ69 0
Oh darn I see that it was sarcasm. I'm sincerely sorry for my last comment.
Rarah 0
I already knew it was sarcasm :) you guys are too serious.
dre_bro11 12
You're forgiven Jesus (as you would do to me).
uncleyuggles 0
It would be easier to talk about if we knew why op broke up with him
dudeitsdanny 10
I didn't think it was sarcasm, since I didn't see any indication of sarcasm. I did, however, notice it was a joke.
dogpup4 23
How could people not see this was a joke?
CleverBastard 8
****, come on you guys he obviously just did what OP did and took it back, I see through your lies
free2speak 14
This is the most awkwardly elaborated FML I've ever read on this site. Seriously, "a ribbon of embarrassment"? Why do people feel the need to exaggerate when a simple sentence would convey the thought just as well, if not better? Maybe it's just me but I really can't imagine a ribbon of embarrassment going down my spine.
AquaNinjaSara 1
I did that once. Worst mistake ever. My best friend still brings it up and makes me feel like shit.
eatthesword 0
Nm
tatababe 1
This is the reason breaking up over the phone was invented the after math is always ugly
tanman230 10
you are a terrible person
alexiiiis09 0
Yikes. That's why you should break up with someone in private
Palirose 22
Exactly.
The_Troller 14
And NEVER say youre kidding! Now you look like an asshole. And he'll probably stalk you. Nice.
docscientist 10
And what if the next guy she ***** turns out to be just like her 'curren't boyfriend? Such a vicious cycle...
Rawr6591 21
Not too private.... Some people are crazy as stated by OP bout their boy friend
iam_yummylicious 12
I would definitely not want to break up with this guy in private. He sounds emotionally unstable. What if he were to have attacked and raped the OP after she said this in private?
Akers_L7 8
Good point
Georgieeporgiee 9
Bless him!! YDI for doing it in a public place and getting his hope up again by saying "only kidding" :L
ShakeMeDown 12
Guys just remember this post...
punkin_26 16
Very good point #92. OP needs to be really careful with this guy
x_KL_x 7
You don't need no man! Stand up for yourself!
akaroth 0
Who let Oprah on fml?
x_KL_x 7
;)
CryMoreFMLs 15
I did... Sorry. She bribed me with front row tickets to a movie.
x_KL_x 7
Yeah, and you really need to learn how to bargain! I was ready to hand over the keys to a brand new BMW but you settled on the tickets...
vic1226 0
that sucks but YDI for getting back together.
scenebarbie123 0
Plus, by doing that she looks like a complete bitch for letting him cry and then saying "just kidding"
batman_516 9
YDI for doing it in a public place. People's pain should be a private thing.
stizer_fml 3
disagree. the guy should just man the **** up
slushpup9696 12
^Disagree. Contrary to popular belief, men have emotions too!
cinderella10383 6
She def deserves it how dare she take him to a public place and do this shame on you!! Everyone has feelings and if he's in love with her and this may be coming out of left field etc how is he suppose to act? She's probably being a hoebag and screwing someone else hey honey the grass isn't greener on the other side just wanted to clue you in
whisperingeye13 0
60- while it is true that men do have emotions, writhing on the ground crying is not an appropriate way to show them. So I think it would be fitting to say that this guy needs to man the **** up.
djgomezzi9331 0
I agree with the first part of what you said, but would also like to add that women shouldn't act like this. Also, to those who said she should've broken up with him in private, given how emotionally unstable he is, there might've been danger to the OP. Finally, what's up with all of the assumptions? Why does she have to be a "dirty, cheating hoebag" if she wants to break up with a guy? Maybe it's because he's so emotionally unstable and clingy that she wanted to break up with him.
Dante17 6
Why make a person retract if that person doesn't want to be with you no more, is not good to have a relationship one sided
Glassmaster 0
...for about 3 days when she breaks up with him for good
booboojlc 0
Genius
VRod17 8
88: Agree!! :)
saIty 17
Operation make a scene in front of a crowd of people, to get girlfriend back, always works.
Pippin43 16
Your profile pic fits your comment disturbingly well.
yamatelle 19
Didn't we learn not to break up in public from other FMLs, OP? Be glad he didn't scream and yell "WHYYYYYYYY?" at every passing stranger. YDI.
that_guy_u_know 5
hahaha thats true she really should have learned.
kemando 22
Devastated? That must mean he thought the relationship was going well, and was confident in his feelings towards you and your feelings towards him.
RedPillSucks 33
or clueless.... But you're right. Open communication would have made this less traumatic.
DjeePee 25
Wait, what? You think that breaking up with your boyfriend - who obviously loves you - is a funny prank? God, OP, I hope he will break up with you. Or that your next boyfriend pranks you on the same way. How stupid/insensitive/cruel can someone be?
SteveTheJanitor 6
No, she told him it was a joke because he was freaking out in public and was 'embarrassing' and she felt bad I guess. She had the intentions of breaking up with him but couldn't do it.
batman_516 9
She didn't mean it as a prank, she just chickened out when he caused a scene.
Ugi 27
I don't think the OP was pranking. I read it that she really wanted to break up but just said it was a joke to avoid a scene. OP - you are cruel and selfish. How do you think your BF is going to react now when you tell him that you meant it all along. You manage to break him twice and confuse the hell out of him into the bargain. He will think you are just doing this to deliberately hurt him.
SteveTheJanitor 6
18: maybe you should try and be in her situation and see how you'd deal with it. I am not saying OP was right in what she did but, seriously think if you were in her position and I bet she said it so quick she didn't even know what was coming out of her mouth
DjeePee 25
Ow...I seriously read it like: "because of the embarrassment, I didn't dare to tell him I was joking". Sorry, my mistake. But it's still a YDI. For breaking up in public and for lying about such an important matter. I'm with 18 on this one.
Ugi 27
20 - I agree it's an uncomfortable situation but it's thoughtless to even imagine doing that in public. If you do then you should take the consequences. It's always likely that breaking up will hurt the other person more than you - that's why you are doing the breaking rather than them. Saying it's a joke to save embarrassment due to your own thoughtlessness even though it will cause the other person even more pain is selfish and cowardly. OP needs to accept the consequences of her own actions. 24- no probs' we all make mistakes.
RockstarRN 10
She wasn't joking! That's why it's in "quotations"
mk58 31
I like the wording of this FML... "The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine" is just awesome on it's own.
Wade3Flash 4
yep