Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill
batman_516 9
I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.
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Comments (269)
malignantmegan 3
Ok if you are 14 like your name states and you are this much of a horn dog your bf is better off. I mean really?? That's just sad, there should be more to your relationship than sex and sex that you aren't having
Mourningstar 4
What a good girlfriend!!!
lovefml987 1
With that much of a change... Maybe he's getting it somewhere else... Maybe with someone who's not creepy and writes it down .. Sorry for being harsh but think about it, one of the biggest tells of a cheater is a big drop in sex at home . Just a thought
loserman67 36
WOW, your name wouldn't be Alex Forrest would it, or maybe you're Annie Wilkes? Do you keep seperate calenders for his bowel movements, farts, sneezes, what shirt he wears on which day of the week, etc... Keeping a calender for every month, marking down everytime you two had sex is honestly very scary. Have you boiled his pet rabbit yet? How long before you tie him to the bed and hobble him? I think you need serious help and your boyfriend needs a new city to live in....
culc16 0
Wow you could be called a bitch ( see, I didn't violate the policy)
slimmathers123 10
he just realized hes gay nbd
nerdy96birdy 8
Just...why? You sound like a total control bitch.
queenb1621 21
Wow that is just mean... You shouldn't care about that..
verlorenerFall 8
YDI for keeping count. I have OCD, but that's too.. Anal..
j3ebrules 13
Oh. And if you were my g/f your stats would fall pretty damned low just about then. To "single".