Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Glad to help out
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
Get out
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Trigger warning
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Time to run
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Threatening
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
I’d have her arrested, assault, battery, defamation of character, the whole shebang. “See you in court, bitch”.
Nhayaa 21
Those people are such a pain in the... I can't understand what go through their mind (except the void replacing their brain).
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Comments (32)
Nhayaa 21
Those people are such a pain in the... I can't understand what go through their mind (except the void replacing their brain).
PhoenixChick 26
The same thinking that makes someone go "a handful of cells is worth way more than the life of this adult woman" moves pretty easily to "I have the moral right to harass this adult woman for taking care of her health no matter what." And once someone has decided that they have the moral right, indeed a duty, to abuse women for taking care of their health...you get morons hitting women for getting ovarian cysts removed.
Josh Bednar 7
Im.a chick using a sock account. Im.pro life. Not once have i ever attacked anyone in a clinic. Again, us rational ones have better things to do in our life. Not protest. Not attack. Only vote. In fact i have taken my friend to have it done. I'm mainly a dem with some repub support. No judgement. In extreme cases i support it. But as a birth control or to be on power trip of murder? No. Close your legs because even if abortion is outlawed, hoe idiots will have back alley ones out of stubborn idiocy and feministic cancer and then they die and that is their fault for choosing that instead of acceptance. You are no longer a strong independent woman when you are growing life that your man helped to create. A life that is not yours. Get over yourself. I could never be so selfish to control a baby and hubby's life like that. Yes a clump of cells is alive because idk if you took biology but even a single celled organism is alive. It eats and ***** and uses energy and moves. That's what it means to be alive. It has a body system to keep it alive. Not organs etc but something.
Callyn 47
No one uses abortion as their main birth control (it's far more expensive and intrusive, why would anyone ever do that?) and absolutely no one has one for a murder power trip. They have them because they can't handle children, for whatever reason. As for it being another life, even if that's true it doesn't have a right to infringe upon the woman for life support just like I don't have any right to your kidney.
Emily Hill 9
So basically op should risk ovarian cancer how about if the baby dies should op still not get it removed because last I checked that can be bad for mama how about if the baby is gonna die anyway should mama die too what if the baby was conceived via rape it's easy to say the baby deserves to live when these factors aren't brought in but life ain't black and white
MidnaLink 35
I’d have her arrested, assault, battery, defamation of character, the whole shebang. “See you in court, bitch”.
Josh Bednar 7
Oh pipe down, rabid gamer gurl.....you wouldn't go crap except go rant on the net. what happened was completely wrong, but it's not that deep to sue over. You sound just as triggered as the pro life extremist. We're not all nutjobs. Neither are all female sjw gamers, which you give a bad name to as well. I've been lurking awhile and your comments are always so triggered. Get a reality check. What's also ridiculous, though, is that adult children will try to sue over anything, especially I'm America. If someone throws a god damn coin at you, clearly causing no damage and more annoyance than pain: asSauLt and Battery.Sue. Call police. The person said meany weenie words. Those two charges should be reserved only for actual damage, mental/ emotional, but especially physical. Pain without damage you can heal from easier. Suing also requires a decent chunk of money. If OP is relying on health clinics to aid in reproductive health, which is usually on a sliding scale fee, there's at least a chance she can't afford to sue, or doesn't care that much. She can wash the paint off and laugh at the idiocy of that woman. Go out for ice cream or a meal. Treat herself to take her mind off it.
Mungolikecandy 19
There is not need for such a rant in response to the first comment. Also, it does not cost money to press assault charges for someone unjustly attacking you.
Fata Morgana 1029 9
Umm... She had paint covering her, which I'm sure ruined her clothing as well. That's assault and battery, and property damage; even if it seems mild to some. I'm guessing you also missed our ignored the part where the crazy broad HIT HER WITH A HANDBAG. That's ALSO assault and battery. And if that broad loads her bag as much as I load mine, that could actually really hurt someone. Back off. If the OP pressed charges, it's totally legit and not an overreaction. Chick didn't have a right to put hands on her, period, and deserves anything coming to her.
MidnaLink 35
And, what if some of that paint had been ingested by accident. That could be toxic, another reason to sue.
Josh Bednar 7
Anything involving court costs a lawyer and money
Josh Bednar 7
Paint. Use detergeant. Buy new ones. Pretty much every issue can be fixed with a logical solution. But no one has logic, only emotions for justice. I personally would have much better things to do than bother with that.
MidnaLink 35
Then the goddamned bitch should’ve thought of that before she damaged OPs clothing, insulted her, then physically attacked her! I’d press charges. You might think it’s not worth it, well good for you, but I’m not letting some pro-life asshole have her way with me, not like that.
MidnaLink 35
And, if I seem “triggered”, maybe it’s because I don’t believe in pouring salt in the wound. Yes, I know it’s a website with funny or sad stories about someones crappy day, but I’m allowed to feel sorry for some of these people, capisce!
Josh Bednar 7
Your anger issue ass would deserve it. Anger is so annoying and triggering to me. Makes me angry and confrontational. Come on, fight then. Go write some more fan fic of midna and link you sad lonely female.
MidnaLink 35
I’m not a woman, you blind dumbass!
Josh Bednar 7
@Gloria ok you may have a point. If her purse was filled to the brim then maybe damage. Since she was psycho enough to attack OP she probably planned to have it heavy with coins etc. Or a brick.
RichardPencil 32
Invite her to the state-mandated funeral you have to give your ovarian cyst, so she can pay her respects to the late cyst.
Sady_Ct 38
I have had numerous issues with my reproductive organs, my gynaecologist works out of a women’s health clinic. They also offer things like mental health support, contraceptives etc. I have been assaulted out side of my clinic after have a surgically implanted contraceptive, been called a murderer etc. Some people are just so narrow minded that all they can see is their own justification, and that other people’s choices threaten what they perceive as the right way to live their own lives. I would sue for the assault, and damages etc. No one has any right to force their own opinion on you for any reason.
westoz 24
That’s really horrible but awesome comeback!
cacheson 42
At least she wrecked her handbag with the paint by hitting you?
Matt Much 12
People like that make me wish I was Supreme Dictator of America. I'd have someone like that hung with her own entrails. This is a rational world where a 2000 year old collection of papers is ancient trash, not a religion.
1known 34
Those old papers are more rational than you concerning the relationships between people. And yes the people like the woman throwing paint haven’t read those papers properly.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You and Bednar need to get together, and get the **** off my planet.
slym12312425 9
That is definitely assault for hitting with the handbag, possibly a weapons charge depending on the weight and contents. The property damage is there with the paint that started the whole thing, but some judges will roll up civil penalties in the sentence as long as the cost of the damages isn't too high. Long story short, not everyone going to the local women's health clinic is going there for abortion. If you disagree with abortion used as a retroactive contraceptive, start filing to adopt some of the children currently in the system so that you can give them a good home, otherwise STFU please and carry on with your day.
LordGiblett 26
People are funny. They don’t realize that places that give abortions also do a lot of other important work that aren’t necessarily abortion related. Close minded idiots lol
AmbrosiaFan 19
So you filed assault charges on her after defending yourself, right?