fridgemylifee
United States
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
so_this_is_me
Brampton, Canada
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Anonymous
Mount Pleasant, United States
Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML
fishtities
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML
fishtities tells us more.
fishtities 26
OP here. We had been together for over a year now. Turns out she had been cheating on me for a month and decided to brake things off with me. The reason I didnt know she was the bartender there was because she was recently hired and since I dont usually go there nor did she tell me, I didnt know.
Anonymous
United States
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
NoTattoo
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Lady_Gunslinger9
Durham, United Kingdom
Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML
Lady_Gunslinger9 tells us more.
Hey guys I'm the OP, just thought I'd make an account and give you all some extra information. I have an anxiety disorder and depression, he knew about both of these and he could tell I wasn't feeling okay so he asked me what was wrong, I tried to convince him it was nothing because I don't feel comfortable opening up to people because of things that have happened in my past. When he eventually convinced me I wasn't going to lose him if I opened up, I took a risk. I told him some things that were worrying me and no it's nothing crazy or weird (although the murder comments did cheer me up a little). The conversation led to talking about our relationship and that's when he ended it. I'm better off without him because anyone who cant deal with me telling them small things that everyone goes through certainly couldn't handle something big if it ever happened. I am sad it ended but I know its probably for the best
Frozen Food Fan
Las Vegas, United States
Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML
Sestricken
New Kensington, United States
Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML
butchapparently
Passing
Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML
Anonymous
Clevedon, United Kingdom
Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML
single
Houston, United States
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
godzilllla
Bothell, United States
Smooth
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Stinky and Single
United States
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
still single
Santa Maria, Brazil
Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Keuka Park, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Who's at fault?
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Anonymous
Brookfield, United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
Carowl
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML
Anonymous
Utica, United States
Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML
TheDenmarkian
Wickliffe, United States
Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML
TheDenmarkian tells us more.
Unfortunately, she said she has no idea why she kissed me. She said she is confused and doesn't know, and I told her to think about it. She said she just didn't know, but it was probably to test the waters. She did enjoy the kiss, if that makes up for anything.
that girl has a beard
Canada
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
whyyyyyme
Canada
Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML
Anonymous
Anchorage, United States
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Cygnus
Ruthven, United States
Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML
Anonymous
Erie, United States
No one disturbs the masters
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
single and unbuggered
Manchester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML
anonymous
Virginia Beach, United States
Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML
Anonymous
Milford, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Anonymous
Orlando, United States
Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML