Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later, his Twitter account said otherwise. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I hadn't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML
Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML
Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
Koalax3 18
I would've honestly asked him if i could go over so I could play with the cat.. But that's just me
booze_n_bitches 37
"Pleading cat" - a genuine excuse in my household to excuse oneself from any activity. I'm with him on this one.
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Comments (111)
Yolomcswaggin420 17
I guess that date was a "cat-a strophe"
carebear1228 20
your comment was a catastrophe.
Yolomcswaggin420 17
You don't understand humour you ******* mistake of a person
1dvs_bstd 41
Quit with the cringe inducing puns already or at least have the courtesy to make it funny.
alfalfalaffa 17
If OP's date would have woke the cat he surely would have gotten attacked and exclaimed: "Me... OW!"
kells1124 14
stop it #19
alfalfalaffa 17
I will not stop. While I can't say the same for those who hear it, telling puns gives me a 100% satisfaction rate. Saying a great pun with good timing is fulfilling in and of itself, but saying a crummy pun is equally satisfying. The way some people twist and turn as if their are in a state of extreme psychological anguish is very gratifying.
Koalax3 18
I would've honestly asked him if i could go over so I could play with the cat.. But that's just me
ptoka 20
Of course! Then maybe he could have 2 cats to play with at his place.... Genius
more4me 27
No, you can't play with my cat ; he's taking a nap right now .
jlang917 14
He's not good enough for you if that's his excuse..
Kaos_Yggdrasil 7
dumbass lol
Paksenarrion 24
If that is actually what happened then that is ADORABLE!
ohSNAPyall 27
Not really. He could have texted to let OP know he wasn't coming, rather than waiting for her to hunt him down.
chosha_fml 27
#5 Yeah, not showing up for a date is SO adorable, especially when a cat can be woken and go back to sleep in about 5 seconds flat.
booze_n_bitches 37
"Pleading cat" - a genuine excuse in my household to excuse oneself from any activity. I'm with him on this one.
thawny_fml 21
As far as excuses for ditching a date go, that is up there with a family death. Totally justified.
PharmacyJoe 13
Well, I guess we all know which pussy he prefers. Sorry OP. :c
rileyrae0000 23
Bad pun
TheKingOfHearts 19
Genius pun. ;)
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
Sounds like something I would do.
Mitchellbassists 29
I'd say he has his priorities straight.
RealSuperSand 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Try dating a dog person.