Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.
KK3137 31
Well, I guess he can just backwards roll right out of your life, then.
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Comments (92)
JMichael 26
It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.
dylanhasemann13 6
she should **** block him now
jake_braves 25
**** sucker he is ?. Not a very good boyfriend.
FutueMeamVitam 24
Those are rationales, not rationality. Pretty much the exact opposite.
hard_candy 25
it is even more ridiculous when people buy into these lame ass excuses. I hope that his sorry ass got dumped.
mds9986 24
You really should break up with cheaters. Do yourself a favor OP.
KK3137 31
Well, I guess he can just backwards roll right out of your life, then.
LeashaJoy5595 28
Or back handspring, it's faster.
emilytheperson 17
Well it's probably for the best, he seems like an ass.
roxyroller20 15
Do yourself a solid and break up with him. You deserve a rational partner
jeff_boles 12
Wow that really sucks. It's dick move on his part.
wickedhyype 17
Deprive him of sex indefinitely...in what is commonly referred to as "breaking up with someone"
ColonelCusswords 24
Then he would dump you
MRSwick2525 23
Please explain your train of thought on your comment!!
musoboy 22
@55 in other words, if he can suck his own ****, then he wouldn't need her to suck it for him, thus rendering her useless. I believe that's what #8 was getting at whilst being extremely short-sighted.
MyGFisaturd 23
I hope he has to suck his own **** now OP, you should leave him.
janfleury 19
You mean ex boyfriend, right?
UH60 26
...and there it is folks.
RenoTheRhino 30
There it is, the most god damned cliché thing I've read all day.
sstahpp 33
One of the few FML posts where this is acceptable.