Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
chaseafterwind82 29
'Love is in the air'- wait, no, that isn't love... :-(
MrSarary 26
It's never safe or nice to let one rip in a coffee shop .. FYL but also YDI
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Comments (65)
siggy_mcsigx 22
Coffee farts are the worst. ...
MrSarary 26
It's never safe or nice to let one rip in a coffee shop .. FYL but also YDI
Teamk09 13
What about bathrooms
1dvs_bstd 41
Lol.. like he doesn't fart. He should have worn a radiation suit tho, cause the gas was toxic. Don't fart in a confined space, OP.
PurpleMyth 28
It's not the fart #3... It's the power of the fart
1dvs_bstd 41
loll
kittykat1501 31
Wow, must have been a level 7 fart! You have power!
Hyenayena 27
At LEAST a 7
headlock911 17
You're the reason we can't have nice things...
tzemmy 25
How is this relevant?
amadeclton 27
This phrase doesn't work in this scenerio.
tiggerlover100 27
Aw this is just one of those situations that there's nothing you could of done. But if he was really that bothered by a bodily function everyone goes though maybe you're better off without knowing him. You'll meet someone eventually! Don't worry op.
Denise1988 13
She could have used manners. Yes, it's natural, but it belongs in the restroom.
Mauskau 36
Sometimes a fart can build up that's incredibly painful and you feel like you can't move unless you let it out. Waddling to the toilets to do a fart will look like OP just shit themselves or is about to.
skyttlz 32
Going to the bathroom just to fart seems pointless. Especially if it's just a little nothing toot.
jazzy_123 20
"better off without knowing him"? idk about you but it took me over a year to finally be able to fart in front of my bf. Farting is something natural, yes, but it's also something very private to many. ...oh look at me talking so seriously about farts..
interesting33 37
Yeah but OP didn't think anyone would notice and didn't expect him to come up then - I am sure if he had been talking to her before she farted she would have held it in or something
snoopy325 23
Everyone farts. And I don't know a single person who goes to the restroom to do it. I realize the men in my family might release a bit more noxious gas then others (they are horrific) but I would never judge someone because of a fart smell surrounding them. It can be awful, it can make you gag and possibly want to stop breathing, but it's not unhygienic nor is it horrible manners to release it when your gut starts cramping.
YourOpinionSucks 22
You do realize when you breath in a fart, you're quite literally inhaling shit particles? Not saying it's unnatural, but **** girl, in a public place? Just because it's natural doesn't give you a pass to be a disgusting ****.
jazzy_123 20
56, seriously? idk about you, but I'd rather die of embarrassment because of that fart than actually die from holding the fart. What? do you fart pretty little daisies? Didn't think so!
JohnnyKade 25
Next time.... oh who am I kidding there won't be a next time if you keep with these poor hygiene habits.
Yazoo77 16
"poor hygiene habits" you don't fart?
1dvs_bstd 41
He does but it smells like febreeze.
logicnazi 18
I follow the fluffy method. When I fart it smells like cinnamon.
rebamoo 14
If you eat clean, your farts are odorless. Specifically, if you eat a clean, plant-based diet.
chocolatelover96 14
#24,I don't know who told you that, but I've been in the presence of a veggie fart, and they're absolutely revolting.
RedPillSucks 33
@24. that's bunk. broccoli farts are the worst
nezumii_fml 12
Farts just tend to come at the wrong times, I swear.
jazzy_123 20
someone is in the room, you feel the fart coming; they leave, the fart goes away -,- and don't forget the part where they come back and you feel like farting again!! lol
chaseafterwind82 29
'Love is in the air'- wait, no, that isn't love... :-(
LibertyLife20 20
Lol this made me laugh! You will find someone soon!
peacheso 31
OP never said she was searching
JohnTheDonJuan 11
Searching was implied. Maybe she's not actively searching, but obviously searching on some level. edit: I think I can squeeze the word searching one more time into this comment.