Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my ex invited me to dinner where we had a wonderful time. She even picked the first restaurant I'd took her to, and just as I was considering asking her to get back together, she tells me that she’s engaged and didn’t want me to find out from Facebook. I swear the chefs heard my heart break. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
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Top comments
UndeadFML 22
Sounds like you were roasted.
Morning_fml 22
Well, at least they're on good terms unlike most relationships involving exes lol.
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Comments (47)
UndeadFML 22
Sounds like you were roasted.
HappyItalian 38
Join in and add some mishap stories about both of them.
PsychicBulwark 4
Then everybody can be miserable! Hooray!
Morning_fml 22
Well, at least they're on good terms unlike most relationships involving exes lol.
AkBunny907 18
If you don't want the scrutiny then don't post things about your life on social media.
writerchic85 26
This
AnOriginalName 19
That.
beeferjay 34
at least you're popular...
ligerzero459 24
Ouch, you're gonna need a good burn doctor after this
Catdragon 40
burn heal*
Kazze 31
You're gonna need a shovel for how buried your comment is.
apink823 6
So Chef is not a career position you're willing to take?
Ichiya 29
The best chefs have the most interesting cooking mishaps. Once I was making Christmas cookies to give out to my family. I mixed up a batch of sugar cookies to make about 4-5 dozen. After putting in the first 2 trays I realized I had forgotten the flour. I was left with 2 trays of melted butter and sugar with no idea how much flour to add to fix the rest.
1dvs_bstd 41
I can just imagine the comments going a little something like.. "one time she used so much oil, the U.S tried to invade us" Don't take it personally, OP. Have a sense of humor, learn and be a better cook.
leogachi 15
@8 I hate it when people tell others to have a sense of humor about themselves. At what point did it stop being okay to be upset when people are actively making fun of you?
emeraldisle 30
I would love to read those comments.
dkane 12
At least you know that your fiancé has a great sense of humor.