Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML
Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jmsouthe7 3
******* double standard
leopardwilliam 22
How dare you use her words against her!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
Ben12345_fml 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You were kinda asking ft that
AddictGamer 16
How? Please expound. Don't dish out what you can't take, right?
PANDORUM89 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he deserved it because he wasn't doing it to end a fight he was doing it to be an ass. if you want to low blow it during a fight then you deserve to be single.
AddictGamer 16
Honestly I think it depends on the subject. If OP's ex sounded bitchy, and he repeated it to show her what she said; I see no reason why she can't be reasonable and apologize. Both sides here are immature, that is one point I'll agree with.
rootl 7
Girls low blow every fight, but their boyfriends don't go around breaking up with them afterwards
yamuri 17
Don't you think it was a low blow when she said it? He stuck it out with her after that. It's not his fault that she thinks it's ok that only she can talk crap. I think he's better for getting rid of that train wreck of a mentality.
doctordonna 4
he might have been asking for it,or she might have been being a bitch. it's impossible to know without knowing the context or tone in which either one was said.
DrFood 8
Don't you know to always let the girl win lol. Anyways YDI because any girl is going to get pissed if you use her words against her. But it sounds like it'd be pretty funny
jmsouthe7 3
******* double standard
dehvi 9
I do the same thing with my gf, only thing is she realizes how retarded she's been sounding
acky2lum 7
she's a keeper.
xJigglyPuffx 5
Same with my bf.
stieglar 17
If she can't deal with it she probably shouldn't have dished it out in the first place.
leopardwilliam 22
How dare you use her words against her!
looms123 9
Hypocrite. Some people don't even realise what they're saying until it's said back to them :/
ohSNAPyall 27
I know you are, but what am I?
shay_serendipity 29
Haha, this was at the top of every elementary schooler's list of comebacks. I remember I said that all the time thinking I was so smart and clever.
QuaDECH 13
And then at the top of the list of middle school comebacks "No you are" and "Your mom"
WOTAN1488 24
You needed to find someone else anyways.
Cads1 24
Rookie mistake, always agree with your girlfriend, even if they are completely insane.
JustinJK 21
Yes, live your life being a pushover. That'll end in a happy, fulfilling and longlasting marriage.
AwkwardKryssi 14
#9 I would rather be blunt and happy living the single life than a miserable push-over in a relationship. Be glad OP, you dodge a bullet. If she can dish it out, she can take it.
Ms_ValS 27
Blunt and happy. You won't be happy as a 40 year old bachelor everyone deems as their loser friend. Anyway OP sorry to hear this. Next time, try "yes dear". Yes it is unfair. Is it fair that you have an ****** and she gets pregnant? No. Life isn't fair. Letting her win in some petty argument doesn't mean you're a pushover. It means you are above her hormonal mood swings or general pettiness. You have to pick your battles OP. Good luck with the next one.
chinaski7628 32
There are so many problems with your comment, 41, I don't even know where to start.... Edit-- thanks, 47.
JustinJK 21
Oh and don't forget that women have far more custody rights than men in spite of mothers not always being the right parent to raise the child. And if your man doesn't make you ******, communicate with him, maturely of course. Faking an ****** to just get it over and done with isn't good sex for either party. Foreplay and work your way up you both having an ******. Ffa, 41 you sound so bitter and disalusioned. Maybe if you didn't have such a black and white, backwards grasp on everything you'd be more happy. Just because you carry a child for 9 months doesn't mean a man should spend a lifetime submitting to his wife's pettiness.
zBLAKEz 23
Wouldn't the inequality in orgasms actually be that women can have multiple while men can only have one?
musoboy 22
@62 Men can have multiple orgasms if they can be bothered to train themselves to. All the information you'll ever need is out there on Google.
JustinJK 21
I can ****** multiple times.
vikky538 29
Dont you know that you cant win arguments with girlfriend