Today, I found a crying little kid alone in a park. I walked around with him for a bit to try to find his parents. When I found his dad, all he did was take the kid and menacingly leer at me until I left. FML
WordBea tells us more.
Hello - OP here. I was helping at an event when this happened. First of all, I'd like to say that there was no way the kid just wandered off. His dad was in a parking lot looking for his stuff in his car at least 200 meters away. He just had his head up his ass. Second of all, I know it was wrong to not call the police or at least get some adult involved, but I'm only 14, and so I guess I wasn't jaded enough yet to realize any predator in the vicinity might see that as the perfect opportunity. For what it's worth, though, I saw a very close resemblance between the two, so at least that's something.
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML
Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML
sophiilou tells us more.
Wow, it got published! Wasn't expecting that. For starters, let me just announce NO BROKEN BONES! HALLELUJAH! Seriously is a miracle. Just a super bruised foot. Second, just to give you an idea, this particular mate is the head honcho if my barn. She thinks she is just queen of the world lol. She hates getting her girth out on, and she knows when it's out. When you hook it up on one side (so it isn't even on yet) she gets PISSED. So that day she decided to just step on me and not move, no matter what I did. I didn't clarify that I did punch her in the shoulder, but this mare, dear lord, she just does not care. That's when she shifted ALL of her weight onto that foot. I wasn't wearing my (much more protective) barn boots because I was late for my lesson and needed to hurry. So instead of grooming and tacking in my barn boots I had my tall boots on. I've actually been bitten by the same mare, for the same reason (girth), and that was probably an even more awful bruise than my foot! I seriously don't know how I get away with just bruises. And I know what you're thinking, "Why do you keep working with her when she injures you 24/7?!" Well, she's an amazing horse, just very sassy lol. Also, to whoever said they had no sympathy for me because I owned a lot of horses so hospital bills would not be a problem, you're just dumb. I could've been forever crippled, and you said you have no sympathy? I could've been forced to never compete again. And you have no sympathy? Wow. I'm not on here looking for everyone's sympathy, don't get me wrong, I actually found the whole incident hilarious. But that was EXTREMELY inconsiderate of you to say that. Thanks for all the good wishes!!!! Smushed Sophie out! :) -OP
Today, a customer at my coffee shop bitched me out because we don't sell cranberry juice. FML
Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML
SOILEDIT tells us more.
SOILEDIT 51
I've talked to an administrator and they said they will do something about the situation, just to let you guys know.
Today, at a family reunion, my grandpa loudly said that I look like "a cheap Vegas whore" because of my heavy purple eye-shadow. I could tell that a few other people agreed. I was too embarrassed to explain that the "eye-shadow" was just dark circles from fatigue. FML
Today, my husband and I spent 10 of our last $20 on pizza. Upon arriving home, I stepped out of the car and slipped on some mud, losing my balance and dropping the open box right into the mud. FML
animorpher tells us more.
animorpher 13
Okay, okay. Let me clear up a couple things. lol. First, me and my husband were sneaking toppings, and I couldn't get the box shut again. I didn't think it would be a big deal, I had enough confidence in myself to make it from the car to the house without a mishap (foolishly.) Second, that was the last of just our spending money for the next couple days. I didn't go broke on pizza :) and lastly, the pizza did get replaced. we returned with the sad mess that was supposed to be dinner, we all wept a little, said a prayer for the pizzas that don't make it home, and they gave me a fresh new one :)
Today, I received the honorary title of "Student of the Month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML
Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML
Today, I picked up my car after I got it painted. As I backed up in the parking lot, my car scraped against a pillar. Now I have to put it right back in the shop. FML
Today, I pulled a girl out of the way of a car. She yelled at me because I made her drop her phone, which then got run over. FML
lolcaption2324 tells us more.
Today, at work, I was fired from my job for being too "forward" to my boss. All I did was get him coffee and a biscuit from McDonald's to celebrate his 15-year anniversary working there. FML
Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML
Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML
Today, I walked into my living room to find my housemate sitting on the couch, bollock naked, trimming his pubes with scissors. He's surprised I have an issue with this. FML
WellGroomed tells us more.
This was actually a few years ago when I was living in Dublin. Never seen that movie so they could well have plagiarised the idea from me! Another classic from this guy: With my toothbrush in his mouth-"you're not one of those people who cares when someone uses their toothbrush are you?" FML
Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML
Today, I had such a big hiccup that I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
CalebLawrence tells us more.
OP here, thank you all for your concerns! I did injure myself, as some of you may of been wondering. As my tumble down the stairs began to slow down, I landed on my wrist funnily, breaking it. On the bright side my hiccups did go away! My family and I are going to remember this moment for awhile :). Again, thanks for the comments!
Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
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