Nearly FMLs

By irresponsible - 29/12/2016 05:40 - United States

Today, after locking my house and car keys inside of the house, I tried not to beat myself up about being irresponsible. I felt better until later on I left my purse inside of a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 29/12/2016 02:25 - United States - Shepherdsville

Today, when I finally confronted my fiance about him just being with me to avoid being alone, he agreed and said, "but I'm still glad I met you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 546

You deserved it 537

By Meriod - 29/12/2016 00:20

Today, Despite numerous visits to various doctors and taking different medicines, and even confirmation it wasn't from my penis or anus, I still keep having mysterious bleeding sessions each day from my genital region. I'm a guy. This has been going on for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 59

By Adam - 29/12/2016 00:05

Today, I found out from my brother I'm such a loser, my name is being used as a form of insult at not only our school, but at several other local schools. Sorry for being a child prodigy who loves to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 62

By xxjrotcgurlxx - 28/12/2016 23:33 - United States - Northfield

Today, I was going to send a nude selfie to my significant other. I thought it would be a good idea to do it over snapchat. However, I accidentally put one of the picture on my story without knowing. I didn't realize this until i started receiving messages back about it....FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 178

By lolerm8 - 28/12/2016 22:52 - Spain - Valencia

Today, my brother gave me a haircut. Later on during the day, I found out why people laughed when they looked at me. My brother had "drawn" a penis on the back of my head.

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 44

By LoZelda123 - 28/12/2016 22:45 - United States - Houston

Today, on Christmas, marks the 3rd day I am off work and also the 3rd day I can't eat anything because of the stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 44

By WildChildRocker - 28/12/2016 22:43

Today, my friend informed me that his girlfriend forced him to block me on Facebook because she's insecure. Then he assured me he was "being a man about it" because he told me to my face. There was never a romance between us and he doesn't agree with me that this is a red flag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 462

You deserved it 466

By ThatsIncentive - 28/12/2016 22:06 - United States - Shingletown

Today, I was having a bad day, so I had a cup of noodles. I then dropped it and after someone handed it to me I dropped it again. I then slipped on it and fell over. Then I started crying in front of the 11 people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 72

By WildChildRocker - 28/12/2016 21:51

Today, my coworker texted me to ask me out. I told him I'm not currently dating but would like to be friends. He then offered to pay me money for sex because, "Well I kinda want u." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 48

By well, damn - 28/12/2016 14:23 - United States - Cheney

Today, my wife informed me that the reason she won't bring any of her friends home and goes out with them instead is because people don't like me and I come off kinda bitchy. I don't have a problem making friends and no one has ever told me this. I think she's cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 14:16

Today, I discovered my best friend is really someone who has no respect for me and is a completely different person from who I knew. He's now blackmailing him if I leave him. With information I've never given him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 45

By NoItsNot - 28/12/2016 14:07

Today, A Notorious Bitch in my school hit my car while I was still in it. She had the audacity to get out and cuss me out, saying it was my fault and that I'm a "Shitty Ass Driver". This also comes from the person who crashes 4 cars in 2 weeks. I had to restrain her from attacking my car again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 28

By Uh - 28/12/2016 13:59

Today, I opened up about sexual abuse I endured as a child. They accused me of lying and called me a Bitch when I cried telling them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 34

By Annonymois - 28/12/2016 12:53 - United States - Kansas City

Today, and for the past couple weeks, I've been coughing so violently, I've been peeing myself a little, each time. This is right after getting over a flu that came so suddenly and violently, I pooped my pants in a public restroom, inches from being over a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 31

By mikuxxhatsune - 28/12/2016 11:37 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I got fired from my first job. It was through text. I hadn't even started the first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 19

By Dangooo - 28/12/2016 11:35

Today I asked my older sister in law who that fatass was, she told me awkwardly that was her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 214

By Yolandi - 28/12/2016 11:13

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for crying when I found out my ex passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 57

By UnluckyLuckyDuck - 28/12/2016 10:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my ovulation and period tracker app reminded me it's been 365 days since I've last had sex. My husband of two years sighed and said it's just too much effort and he'd rather have a quick wank. Guess it's me and the vibrator again tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 18

By nominaski - 28/12/2016 10:04 - United States - Tacoma

Today, after a week of having meltdowns and losing sleep over hearing my friend was hit in a car accident and getting "he's not improving" updates from his family, it turns out it was his douchebag of a brother pranking me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 08:14

Today, I spent three hours being hit on by a guy in a bar. I asked him if he remembered my name, and he said no. My self esteem is so low that I slept with him anyway. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 136

By Delirious_Panda - 28/12/2016 00:18

Today, I'm pregnant and have a cold that causes me to sneeze at least 100 times a day. This wouldn't be so bad if my baby weren't sitting on top of my bladder so that I need to sprint to the bathroom in time to sneeze or risk pissing myself at work... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 53

By Anonymous - 27/12/2016 22:57

Today, I got a Christmas Card from my Aunt and Uncle. Instead of a warm greeting, all I got was a cut newspaper article regarding Trump winning the election. They know very well about our views and we haven't even said anything about the election to them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 50

By Anonymous - 27/12/2016 22:49

Today, my gf finally texted me after a week, and 3 days after receiving my 100$ Christmas gift (and not giving one back). She hasn't said anything about those, and instead complains about her "jetlag"... She was in the same timezone... FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 25

By Pinky - 27/12/2016 22:39

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd been lying about registering for unemployment so now I have no money to pay all our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 39

By Tommy - 27/12/2016 22:38

Today I just found out that the girl I've been talking to for the last few months and who I am going on holiday with soon also has the same feelings for me as I do her. Only to find out that in 2 months she is going back to her homeland of Australia... FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 43

By lazy boyfriend - 27/12/2016 22:33 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, my boyfriend has never changed the sheets, folded the laundry, cleaned the shower, or cooked his own food. But still complains "if he wouldn't do the housekeeping nothing would even be clean around here". Even though I work 40 hours a week and he has to do schoolstuff for 4 hours a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 40

By PizzaNIF - 27/12/2016 22:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, my boss denied my request for the day off. I requested the day off because it's my birthday, but my boss thinks I'm lying. My dad is my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 43

By Stonewallmaxx - 27/12/2016 22:04 - United States - Bronx

Today,my dog ate my car keys and I have an important job interview today.FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 26

By obsessPossess - 27/12/2016 22:01

Today, my boyfriend sent me a follow request on Instagram. I was excited, considering he hardly replies to my loving texts, and I won't get to see him IRL for another week. He unsent his follow request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 33

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, and since she always makes me suffer when I forget, I made a fancy 4-course meal in our living room, wearing a suit and tie to really rub it in that this time she forgot. Turns out I got the right date, but wrong month. It’s next month, and so… my suffering begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 2 177

Today, I tried to reach out to my friend after not hearing from her for a while. One night while drinking, we both admitted to being bi-curious and decided to experiment with each other. I thought it was just harmless exploration, but apparently this makes her never want to speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 268

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 4 168

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 3 557

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 3 611

Today, my manager said it was my choice to have surgery on my arm and that I shouldn't complain, everyone goes through pain. She's right, but I was born with a birth defect in my wrist. The surgery was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to be born this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 85