Nearly FMLs

By allygatorkat - 23/12/2016 21:13 - United States - Lancaster

Today, not having a lot of extra money for Christmas, I bought two small but meaningful gifts for my son. It turns out my mom got him the same things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 40

By there was a baseball bat involved - 23/12/2016 19:36 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, I was woken up at 4 AM by a thud and yelling from my parents bedroom. I got up and went in there to find them fighting, quite physically. I tried helplessly to calm them down for half an hour until they were finally just yelling. the entire ordeal was over facebook

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 18

By KingKralj - 23/12/2016 19:08 - United States - San Ramon

Today, my father spent all his Christmas gift money on booze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 19

By Killumantii - 23/12/2016 18:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got called a "fucking bitch" by someone. That someone is in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 26

By NakuEh - 23/12/2016 18:33 - United States

Today, it is my 21st birthday. It is also the day that my family has decided to celebrate Christmas. No one has even said "Happy Birthday!" to me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 32

By I_luv_SPN - 23/12/2016 18:21 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I am joining the military. I told him before anything started happening I have wanted this for 20 years since I was 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 30

By unhappy brother - 23/12/2016 17:35 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I went to a family Christmas party and it was all going well until it was time for presents. I opened a present from my brother and it was a 20 in black dildo.

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 18

By Bookworm1315 - 23/12/2016 17:32 - United States - Auburn

Today, the cops knocked on my door. A suspicious man had been seen, and there was an stolen bag on my back porch. Kind of freaked out, I let them do their job with it and went back inside. I was glad the guy didn't get in my house. An hour later, I found out that a car had been broken into. My car.

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 20

By Nixsai - 23/12/2016 16:53 - Australia - Perth

Today I learnt that I have to pay a hefty cancellation fee for an expensive restaurant I booked for me and bf's 1yr anniversary after being begged, because despite 6 months saying he wouldn't go, he's now said he's going to a wedding out of state for a week. Our 1yr anniversary is in 3 days.

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 29

By anonyme - 23/12/2016 16:01 - United States - Bronx

Today, I was the lucky person at a wedding to catch the garter belt. I was blindfolded and told I had to see how far I could get up this girl's leg. It wouldn't have been so bad until I found out they swapped the girl with a guy. Now my Facebook is flooded with the video of this happening. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 41

By Why_The_Fuq - 23/12/2016 15:55 - United States - Powder Springs

Today, my mom called me selfish because I spent $20 to go out with my boyfriend. I only have that money because I have a part-time job. I give most of the money from my paycheck to her to help out with bills. Sorry I want to do something with my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 22

By ajt75927 - 23/12/2016 14:59

Today, my mother in law threw my wife and our kids out, after driving across two states to visit for Christmas. The reason why, we wanted to visit with my side of the family too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 21

By penguinsgaming - 23/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I went to Wal-Mart to get some Christmas shopping done. I passed by the Christmas tree and they were $15. I paid $30 for the same exact tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 79

By Painter Pete - 23/12/2016 12:14

Today, while painting a room, my wife brought me lunch and put it on the table. I then recharged the brush in my sandwich. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 37

By WhyLifeWhy? - 23/12/2016 11:39 - United States - Katy

Today, and for the past 3 months, I've been jobless since I decided to quit my shitty retail job. I've appied to over 70 jobs and had only one interview. Not only can I not participate in Christmas this year, I'm going into the New Year unable to pay my bills. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 53

By nerdinlove - 23/12/2016 09:49

Today, I met my boyfriend after a week. I had been expecting him to propose for a while. I noticed a square bulging shape in his jeans' pocket. "Is it a ring?" I asked him, shaking in excitement. He replied, "Nope, condoms." FML!

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 80

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 08:31 - United States - Ozark

Today, I had to use a public restroom while other ladies were in there. I have an irrational fear of people hearing me pee. But I don't think they heard me pee, mostly because I farted loudly for the entire duration of my piss. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 29

By FaceToThePalmm - 23/12/2016 08:06

Today, I wanted to look cool in front of my friends, while they were hopping the fence I thought I should go around but decided to act like them and hop over. One of my friends joked and said "Careful there don't tear your shorts." He was just teasing. I hopped down only to hear a loud rip... FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 48

By Virus228i - 23/12/2016 07:20

Today I was on a yacht with my girlfriend for 8 months parents. Then her father told me there was a shark in the water. Me never seeing a shark before walked over to the side of the boat and he throws me overboard. I had my phone and wallet and keys in my pockets FML.

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 28

By should'vekeptmypantieson - 23/12/2016 07:19 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while on the phone with the guy I have been fooling around with, mentioned his mom coming over to his house. I asked, "Where are you going to hide my underwear?" Turns out he was at his mom's house and our conversation was heard through the whole house via Bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 34

By Laney - 23/12/2016 06:51 - United States - Madison

Today,I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise dinner an early Christmas presents.After rushing around my house getting everything together I walk out the doorlocking it on my way out.In the rain hands full of presents,I realize I forgot my keys. So much for a surprise he had to come pick me up.FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 17

By Ohwell - 23/12/2016 06:32

Today, it's the day before Christmas eve. Not only is it the first Christmas me and my boyfriend will spend in our own home as a family, he has to go to work and I got a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 22

By Darn - 23/12/2016 06:31 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was waiting to start my shift at work when I sat down on a brick wall. My pants now have a brick shaped hole in the back. I cant go home to change. Brilliant day to be wearing white underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 26

By Basmom - 23/12/2016 06:28

Today, whilst teaching my son to drive I warned him about placing his arm through the steering wheel toward the dash at which point he says he's too warm and proceeds to get his head stuck in his hoodie while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 25

By mkay0303 - 23/12/2016 06:26 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I was babysitting the kids from down the street like I usually do and one of them is such a brat. I was on the phone with my boyfriend and asked him how I looked and the kid ran through the room and yelled "like a whore" then ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 44

By Emerson-may - 23/12/2016 05:21 - Australia - Rowville

Today, a customer tried to pay for there food with Monopoly money, I got yelled at for trying to explain to them that the money is fake and so they complained to my boss and said that they paid and I'm refusing to give them there change and now I'm on probation

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 16

By RIPMe - 23/12/2016 04:59

Today while at the doctors, I was changing into my clothes, and without any pants or underwear on I decided to turn on my phone to check Snapchat, I was instead greeted with the screaming google commercial, a nurse ran in to see if I was ok, she walked in laughed, then left in a hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 47

By RJ - 23/12/2016 02:02

Today, I excitedly told my dad, who had been asking when I would find a boyfriend, that one of my friends wanted to set me up with a guy who looks just like Adam Levine. His response? "If he looks like Adam Levine he won't be into you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 30

By prendy112 - 22/12/2016 22:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, i found out the reason why my dad hasn't been around the house lately is because it violates the conditions of his bail for a crime i didn't even know he committed. His bail ends in January. So much for a Christmas with the family. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 20

By barleyguy - 22/12/2016 18:38 - Canada - Truro

Today, I kissed my wife in bed and suddenly got excited thinking she was getting into it. Turns out she was yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 79

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 441

You deserved it 52 617

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 537

You deserved it 8 007

Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 695

You deserved it 5 252

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 130

You deserved it 19 782

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 195

You deserved it 34 825

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 3 080