Awkward

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

By Lisa - 22/06/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 22

Stay classy

By chattyloz - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 893

You deserved it 40 038

Some more news

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 228

What's wrong with me?

By Saddened - 21/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 853

Real?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, to my horror, I discovered I will owe child support for the kids my ex and I adopted together since she couldn't have any. I've met someone else and I'm planning on having real kids with her, but these payments will destroy everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 118

Lock your doors

By Semi-pro - 19/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I had a scholarship interview video call. I spent an hour making my room look smart. A minute in, my little brother walked in behind me wearing a cape and carrying a spoon like a mic. I smiled through the interview whilst he proclaimed, “Welcome to my show!” and did a spin in the background. They asked follow-up questions, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 87

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 171

Freudian slip?

By Al Staten - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 701

You deserved it 2 651

Cough up

By Elastic Heart - 15/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I got my hair done. I wasn’t expecting a bayalage/blowdry/gloss package to cost $350. I only brought $100. I don’t get paid until next Friday, so I asked the salon lady if I could give her the rest then. She refused and said she either gives me a bob cut or calls the cops. I now look like Edna on crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 668

Bigmouth strikes again

By whoops - 13/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with six strangers. To break the awkward silence, I said, "At least none of us have somewhere important to be." One woman immediately started crying because she was on her way to her own wedding ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 223

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 927

You deserved it 4 653

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 963

Cyrano

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends fancy each other and keep secretly asking me to write their sext messages. I'm essentially carrying on both sides of their sexy talk with myself, only I won’t be the one getting laid. Sometimes wish I was lesbian too, arranging a threesome between us would be easier than this FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 258

Perfect date

By maebyf - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 8 471

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 85

Huge fan of his work

By laf@me - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 4 429

Grow up, man

By Mud - 11/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I called the guy who's been ghosting me after our date and demanded answers. He said, "All you wanted to talk about on our date was heavy shit, my career, my family, my past relationships. It didn't feel like a date, it felt like an interview." Of course! I wanted to know if our goals match! I'm 35, not a teen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 713

Relationship goals

By failhusband - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "Nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 73 514

Formatting issues

By Anonymous - 08/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my university professor asked us to submit anonymous course feedback. I wrote three paragraphs criticizing his lectures. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my full name at the bottom of the page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 512

Imposter syndrome

By Useless - 05/06/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I worked hard and brought few points to an important meeting at work. All of them were dismissed almost immediately. Now I feel an impostor fraud who gets paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 80

Thank you for being a friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 256

Unhinged

By Marcus - 02/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, the girl who said we were “just friends” had a meltdown when I told her I went on a date with a girl I met on Hinge. She literally told me two months ago after me giving her the shirt off my back and being her emotional support anchor for nearly four years that we were “just friends.” So what’s the deal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 53

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 645

Family matters

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Graham

Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 61

Assumptions

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied, "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied, "An eyebrow wax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 533

You deserved it 40 451

Sorry sweetie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I admitted to my best friend that I was having second thoughts about getting married and was probably going to break up with him. Unfortunately, my fiance's daughter, who I absolutely adore, overheard the conversation and threw a huge screaming tantrum asking why I didn't want to be her mommy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 562

Party zone!!

By helloworld92 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 569

You deserved it 8 267

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 010

Opt out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on our first wedding anniversary, my husband confessed that he had tried to leave me at the altar and only went through with it due to my dad, brothers, whiskey, and drowsy cold medicine, but now tat he’s given it the old college try and lasted a whole year, he wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 65

Double life

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 22:00 - United States - St. Cloud

Today, I found out the man (M 43) that I’ve (F 32) been seeing on and off for 5 or 6 years secretly got married two weeks ago. He was even at my job for an event a week ago and didn’t even tell me. This man took my first kiss and virginity. I even provided emotional support when his aunt and sister passed from cancer. Absolutely blindsided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 107

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 989

You deserved it 2 645

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 2 892

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 296

You deserved it 4 906

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 229

Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 73

Today, my husband announced he was leaving me for a girl he met at work because she “has a hotter body” and “looks better in bed during sex.” I gave birth to his kid earlier this year. I said I was gonna bleed him dry on child support and alimony, and he said, “So? I can afford it. I make 6 figures a year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 90