Nearly FMLs

By Seriously? - 25/12/2016 15:26 - United States

Today, while opening presents, I felt a heavy box. When I ripped off the gift wrap off of one box, revealing an Xbox One. Squealing with joy, I opened it and instead of getting what would've been inside, there were a few weights and a note saying "Get a job." I hate my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 38

By FamilyFavorite - 25/12/2016 09:50 - United States - Portland

Today, after spending $500 in gifts, I found out my family of eight people forgot to get me a single present. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 11

By lonely&horny - 25/12/2016 08:17 - United States

Today, the only present I got was a dildo I bought for myself. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 7

By xmasflu - 25/12/2016 08:03 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, Christmas Day, I have the flu and my fiancé is forcing me to go to his parents house for dinner or he won't go, making me look bad. He claims I don't look ill. I'm throwing up and can hardly stand. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 10

By instantkarma - 25/12/2016 07:17 - United States - Westport

Today, I found a $10 dollar Starbucks gift card on the ground and took it. On the way to Starbucks I hydroplaned around a turn and drove into someones yard, and thus damaging my car. I had to get it towed. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 36

By lowexpectations - 25/12/2016 07:10 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I received Christmas gifts from my parents. He got a camping saw. I got 3 pairs of scissors and a can opener. What's worse: I'm actually super excited about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 31

By GodsBreastMilk - 25/12/2016 06:54 - United States - Morris

Today, I spent hours trying to print out/frame photos of my sisters' and me that I had paid to get done, including hair and makeup ($450), for my mother's Christmas present; Photo's she's been wanting for years. Her gift to me is a $100 dress I ordered, and all ready paid for, to wear on Christmas.

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 19

By whosnextforthebathroom - 25/12/2016 06:24 - United States

Today, my mom's new boyfriend made us Christmas dinner. 3/5 of us seem to have gotten food poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 28

By Fatherless - 25/12/2016 06:18

Today I spent all of the time possible with my dad before I will go months without seeing him. The reason. My mom is a sadistic bitch thinks my wife stole me from her. I'm 38 and married with kids. My mom still thinks I'm 12. Goodbye Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 27

By Bothersomebug328 - 25/12/2016 06:01

Today, after a terrible day at work, and trying to get in the Holiday spirit, I got to watch a jerk run over and kill my cat. Now I get to spend the day digging a grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 17

By I need new sheets - 25/12/2016 05:36 - United States - Danvers

Today, I walked in on my uncle giving his boyfriend a blowjob on my bed while they were over for our Christmas party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 19

By why - 25/12/2016 05:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, I opened my Christmas gifts and found out that I had paid for all of my gifts FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 18

By PossiblyPregnant - 25/12/2016 03:25 - United States - Yuma

Today, I got drunk and had sex with a cute coworker. Afterwards, I realized we hadn't used protection and he said "don't worry, you can't get pregnant, I have a low sperm count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 70

By merry crapmas - 25/12/2016 01:36 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, I gave up Christmas Day with my family who live 2 hours away, thinking I'd be spending it with my Inlaws, turns out my husband would rather sleep all day and catch up with his family just for dinner... FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 21

By Macbertie50 - 24/12/2016 22:35 - United Kingdom - Stafford

Today, I received a message from my friend saying "He was a borderline alcoholic whose only salvation seems to lie in his endless renewals of the ability to laugh the whole thing off." Apparently it's a quote from a book that made him think of me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 24/12/2016 21:49 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I learned that the present my parents ordered for me doesn't exist. They only said they ordered something so I wouldn't be mad when they gave my brother a $50 gift card. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 18

By uglyanonymoose - 24/12/2016 20:41 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I'm so hopelessly single that, after being on tinder for weeks, the app crashed after my first ever match and won't restart. Tinder is so surprised that someone matched me that it seemingly died of shock! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 19

By Why Jillian - 24/12/2016 19:48

Today, I was arguing with my daughter, who is adopted by me. She said, "You're not my real dad! You can't tell me what to do!" Her biological father was my wife's rapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 12

By KingSquisher - 24/12/2016 16:41 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, someone tried to shoot my dog. They missed, hit a rock, and a piece of the bullet put a hole in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 38

By GoodForNothing - 24/12/2016 16:22

Today, it's Christmas Eve. I walked out of my room to my sister and mother calling me "good for nothing," "Lazy," and asking questions like, "where did I go wrong?" I'm a full time college student AND I have two jobs. Tuition is on me. Worst of All, I'm stuck here until New Years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 17

By George - 24/12/2016 16:07 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I really had to poop so I had to use the public restroom in the mall I had to go so bad I just turned around and pulled down my pants as soon I got in there. When I sat down the seat was super squishy so I stood up and realized I sat in someone's poop that was on the toilet seat

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 35

By OptimusSlime - 24/12/2016 16:06 - United States - Berlin

Today, my mom confronted me on my new cutting problem. I don't cut, I just got into a fight. With a mail box. And lost. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 24/12/2016 15:41 - United States - Marion

Today, I leaned in to finally kiss my boyfriend of three months. He simultaneously chose this time to say he wanted to break up. My little sister was in the room and can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 26

By Jillian why - 24/12/2016 15:02

Today, I got into an argument with my daughter, who is adopted. She yelled, "You're not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do!" Her real dad is my wife's rapist.

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 17

By xXRocker_ChicXx - 24/12/2016 12:30 - United States

Today, I have to see my ex. He broke up with me a month ago, kicked me and our 8 month old son out, and now we're staying with my grandparents 600 miles away. Hooray for the holidays. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 23

By thanks mum - 24/12/2016 10:35 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my mother got drunk and told me I was a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 35

By Some Girl - 24/12/2016 09:59 - Australia - Toongabbie

Today, after being asked for a nude for an hour by a guy, I finally had to tell my cousin that her boyfriend had been trying to get nudes from me for an hour. It's Christmas Eve and they had plans to spend the night alone

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 23

By coleycakes_805 - 24/12/2016 09:19 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I was driving in the rain when my car hydroplaned into an SUV. After exchanging information with the other driver my phone died and I discovered that I had locked my keys in my car. Right at that moment it started raining harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 24/12/2016 06:51

Today, I realized hat I had a UTI. I took the necessary antibiotics for it and they gave me a yeast infection. Those same antibiotics also made me throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 20

By whyme082213 - 23/12/2016 21:46

Today I visited my friends with benefits while we're home for winter break. His whole family came home early so I introduced myself. As I extended my hand to his mother, she said she "knew what that hand has done." It was then that he informed me that he'd told her we were fuck buddies. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 56

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 278

You deserved it 336

Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going." She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 311

You deserved it 2 497

Today, my boyfriend of a over a year broke up with me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't written him a long letter about how much I love him, and that I'm so glad we're together and so glad that he promised he would always be there. He'll be getting it in a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 778

You deserved it 3 843

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 710

Today, I realised I get called “buddy” and “champ” at work more than I get called my actual name, I’m 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 105

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 412