Nearly FMLs

By Afterxmasmeltdown - 26/12/2016 11:22

Today, I woke up with my new bedsheets, bedroom floor and myself covered in dog shit. My housemate thought it would be easier to feed rotten food he had left in the fridge to my dogs instead of bringing it to the bin outside. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 24

By nodrivingforme - 26/12/2016 10:40 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, I've been excited for my first driving lesson, I have been everyday for the past 18 months. Only today, I was told that I now can't drive for 12 weeks due to slicing through the tendon in my finger with a bread knife. My operation is on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 25

By ...damn - 26/12/2016 08:59

Today, I found out it's ok to post ungraceful birthday pictures of your friends on their Facebook. The same does not apply to my mother, so instead of laughing together I'm getting a cold shoulder. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 87

By pseudo_boy - 26/12/2016 08:15

Today, I saw my mother and father having sex on Omegle. They were both still wearing their Santa hats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 24

By cryingallday - 26/12/2016 08:03 - United States - Casper

Today, whilst half a world away from my family, I spent Christmas Day alone, doing six loads of laundry and cleaning up several piles of cat vomit. The only gift I received was lotion that makes me smell like an old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 18

By snazz23 - 26/12/2016 07:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to no gifts under the tree. To make matters worse, my husband broke the news that he spent all of the Christmas money on drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 26/12/2016 07:40

Today, I celebrated another Christmas with my family. It was another Christmas where I had to deflect my drunk cousin's flirting. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 18

By sister - 26/12/2016 07:24 - United States - Mill Valley

Today, is Christmas, my mom started freaking out at my dad, threw all our presents around the living room and ran out of the house. My dad got mad, took all the food and ran out of the house. So both my parents are MIA and me and my siblings are alone on Christmas. My youngest sister is 10...

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 21

By anonymous - 26/12/2016 07:14 - Australia - Carlton North

Today, I went to my partners family friends house for Christmas lunch, while sitting next to the eldest women there she leans over and whispers "how far along are you?" I'm not pregnant I just like food, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 30

By worst present ever - 26/12/2016 05:50 - United States - Miamisburg

Today, I got an early Christmas present. My extremely irregular, painful periods that usually last a month unexpectedly started at 12:01 a.m Christmas Eve. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 16

By DrinkingToRelieveStress - 26/12/2016 04:34

Today, because it's been a hard year and since it's Christmas, I had two drinks after dinner. My parents treated me as if I was an alcoholic, clearly judging me. So much for relaxing while at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 14

By stalkinator - 26/12/2016 04:03 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I hosted Christmas. Last night, my dog figured out how to wipe her ass on my white carpet, and promptly did so eight times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 16

By sad - 26/12/2016 02:58

Today, I unwrapped my christmas gifts. There were more than I expected, since I didn't ask for much. Turns out my mom regifted again. A book from my own library, a ring I never use but do own (because she gave it to me like three times before), a broken electronic pencil sharpener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 13

By effamel - 25/12/2016 23:53

Today, for Christmas, as a 17 year old, I bought my parents a vacation getaway. They gave me 5 pairs of socks. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 27

By Dabdayz - 25/12/2016 20:55

Today, I finally realized that my boyfriends family is more important than mine, he threw a fit when I told him we needed to leave to go to my families. Now I'm stuck at his families for the day and he's an ass... FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 47

By Justified12 - 25/12/2016 20:37 - United States - Peabody

Today, I was driving to my parents house, when halfway there, my car exhaust and muffler fell off. A state trooper couldn't avoid it. Guess what I'm doing for Christmas? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 28

By rebelvamp420 - 25/12/2016 18:54 - United States - Hardy

Today, for Christmas I got dumped and was refused by my ex wife to have my kids. And I have already run out of beer, here's to four years in a row of Christmas alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 26

By TreeTrunkMcGee - 25/12/2016 18:50 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, after working out for a year to lose weight, I discovered my mother still refers to my legs as tree trunks. Thanks ma! FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 21

By E.L - 25/12/2016 18:49

Today, I found out that my long term partner has been lying to my face and breaking serious promises. I can't say anything because there will be too many consequences involving others that could end badly and ruin too many relationships. So much for honesty and trust. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 36

By CrappyCristmas - 25/12/2016 18:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I went to two Christmas parties and watched as everyone opened a gift but me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 21

By Tona - 25/12/2016 18:36

Today I'm home for the holidays after almost three years of not visiting. My family rather believe that I am pregnant than to accept that I've gained weight. They want it to be a girl. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 20

By Blondebutnot - 25/12/2016 18:22

Today, Christmas morning, I woke up at 355 am to a raging period spewing forth including all its side effects. It's the first 48hrs hubby and I have had alone in 6+months. I've also been injured for the last 2 weeks and hadn't been able to have "adult time" FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 23

By catsorpresentsoneortheother - 25/12/2016 18:05 - United States

Today, for the very first Christmas my family decided to put no presents under the tree because our cats will ruin them by spraying and other disasters. We made this decision after one of them vomited squarely on a present last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 26

By persephone217 - 25/12/2016 17:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend woke me up with some Christmas sex. While knuckle deep in my lady parts, he then whispers my mom texted and wished you a merry Christmas. He still seems shocked that this was a mood killer FML.

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 25/12/2016 17:18

Today, was our work's Secret Santa. I made an intricate, beautiful bracelet for the person I was gifting to, which they loved. For myself? Nobody apparently drew my name, because I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 7

By Ungrateful - 25/12/2016 17:12

Today, I gave my wife her gifts: a new tablet, pearl earrings, a "Supernatural" (her favorite show) t-shirt, a nice blouse/scarf combo, an adult coloring book with new colored pencils (her hobby), and some new house shoes. I get a pack of underwear, a pair of boxers, and a pair of pajama pants. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 32

By Melosro - 25/12/2016 17:04

Today (Christmas) my wife got a gift to her cat and not for me. Also she forgot when it is my birthday and didn't give to me my birthday present. We have been together for 4 years and it always happens. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 21

By jsmeezy - 25/12/2016 16:34 - United States - Waukesha

Today, Christmas day I got literally nothing for Christmas. When I asked my wife about it she said "Sorry I have been ocupied" I managed to get her a piano, as well as get our children and other family their gifts... But she cant bring herself to check out amazon? FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 22

By SOML - 25/12/2016 15:56

Today, I asked my dad to give me a ride to school. He told me to go fuck myself and walk all the way. When I was crossing the road, I got hit by a truck and I'll have to use a fucking wheelchair for my whole fucking life.FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 34

By party of one - 25/12/2016 15:31 - United States - Roseville

Today, is Christmas... I had a hysterectomy last year after my third round of cancer. The man I've been seeing thought last night would be a good time to break up with me since he'd just realized I can't carry his children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 7 288

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 256

You deserved it 8 485

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 131

You deserved it 6 264

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 642

You deserved it 17 312

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 800

You deserved it 9 335

Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 263