Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML

by jaycee / 01/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

by StupidNurse / 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm / Germany / Work

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

by replik / 01/25/2012 at 10:50am / Russian Federation / Work

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

by Benjamin / 01/25/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 9:58pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

by communistgirl / 01/24/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Work

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

by moe472 / 01/23/2012 at 9:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

by FuturePolice / 01/23/2012 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML

by XxJennJennXxX / 01/20/2012 at 7:13am / United States / Work

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work