Love, Singing and AITA: Excuses, excuses

Excuses, excuses

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I arse-dialled my ex while drunkenly singing karaoke at a bar. She picked up just in time to hear me belting out a heartfelt rendition of "I Will Survive." I don't think she bought my "pocket dial" excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 216

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Same thing different taste

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 904

You deserved it 46 459

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 897

You deserved it 9 212

By Cossack_Man - 25/08/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 859

You deserved it 11 704

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 012

You deserved it 12 785

By Out from Hell - 22/04/2013 22:31 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 638

You deserved it 76 538

By dukemisery - 28/11/2016 12:23 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 029

You deserved it 3 010

Ed Sheeran-lite

By Joshua Diamond - 14/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I phoned my ex, who I only broke up with a week ago. I then told her about the song I'd written about her. I have written a song, but it's shite and I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to play it to her. I’ll have to play it to her and confess my simpy, wet ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 864

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 516

You deserved it 39 596

By Anonymous - 18/12/2013 01:55 - China - Shanghai

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 8 384

By kprince - 08/05/2013 14:00 - United States - Northridge

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 446

You deserved it 11 235

Kaelyn _Micanna 6

Tuesday 7 May 2024 6:32

Better than "I will Always love you" so why should you Care?

Rake 13

Wednesday 8 May 2024 14:59

Neither do we...

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Kaelyn _Micanna 6

Tuesday 7 May 2024 6:32

Better than "I will Always love you" so why should you Care?

Rake 13

Wednesday 8 May 2024 14:59

Neither do we...

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 368

You deserved it 4 151

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 202

You deserved it 4 471

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 385

Today, after searching frantically for my economics notes for a week, I asked my friend to send me pictures of hers. I recognised my handwriting on the pictures she sent me and she admitted she'd "borrowed" them. The exam is in three days and she refuses to meet me and give my notes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 553

You deserved it 370

Today, it's my birthday. With all the lockdowns and curfews, my inner introvert was looking forward to enjoying a delicious meal and a bottle or two of wine by myself. My friends had other plans, namely a surprise Zoom party. Nice thought, I'm grateful for my friends, but I hate using Zoom. It went on for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 263

Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 265

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 868

Excuses, excuses

Same thing different taste

Ed Sheeran-lite

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