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Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (1917)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (35165)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

#392
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (41844)

On 11/26/2008 at 1:18am - misc - by ripo95 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (7808)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18511) - you deserved it (5921)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (6347)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (5787)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

#19399290
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (4121)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18495) - you deserved it (1506)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (4862)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (2098)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States



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