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Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

#19952787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17820) - you deserved it (1674)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:06am - health - by tm - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

#19304528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17820) - you deserved it (4684)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:09pm - animals - by tickdog - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (2007)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

#19992508
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1942)

On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (55592)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (351044)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (68425)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (40308)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

#2743
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17796) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:18pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (4617)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (3668)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (4019)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -



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