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Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15432) - you deserved it (4610)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (35337)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (29188)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15426) - you deserved it (34824)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

#5814230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (29245)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

#4299529
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15417) - you deserved it (41048)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15416) - you deserved it (63364)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (21200)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

#11886380
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15409) - you deserved it (37021)

On 07/14/2010 at 10:37pm - love - by readytomingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

#829368
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15407) - you deserved it (57896)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

#14065426
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15405) - you deserved it (26014)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15404) - you deserved it (115245)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)



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