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Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

#21440556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (2425)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (4074)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (54444)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

#14081508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (5429)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:03am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (1893)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (2294)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (7056)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (1614)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (1499)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (2169)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)



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