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Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (10275)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (3867)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (7616)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (61361)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (3270)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (5678)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (1764)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (6656)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (28024)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (6741)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)



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