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Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

by murphx3x / 03/05/2010 at 3:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

by mothtal / 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm / Bulgaria / Love

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

by Notorch / 05/23/2012 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

by seriously wtf / 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

by mmromig / 02/08/2011 at 9:46am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

by jriese444 / 12/23/2011 at 10:45am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

by supergirl7 / 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

by vw / 02/20/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2015 at 3:23am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous