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Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (6952)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (5173)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (3126)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML

#7094930
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:26am - health - by ouchie (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (1704)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (35815)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (43404)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (2059)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (5483)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (3025)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (1547)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (5792)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)



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