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Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (8331)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (7604)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (6419)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (38631)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
609 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (57159)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2302)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (3496)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

#21423053
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (1625)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:47pm - work - by frustratedandunderpaid - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

#21508578
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (1666)

On 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (5701)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction, I was the only one who received a ticket. FML

#13538195
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (8653)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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