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Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (3287)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

#1639101
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (58620)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (30772)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (2545)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

#18755712
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18427) - you deserved it (4156)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:56am - health - by naagodinho (man) - Portugal

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

#20123973
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (5092)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

#19987585
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (1957)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (2341)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (38923)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (2738)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (5191)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)



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