Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a crap at work. When I go to flush the toilet, it clogs and begins to overflow. I leave the bathroom the way it is and as I walk out, my boss comes in. FML

#1353
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12078) - you deserved it (7215)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:45am - work - by DonPedro - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (32214)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (36568)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (35149)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (21463)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12051) - you deserved it (61061)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12047) - you deserved it (21754)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12046) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (40748)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (29459)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
486 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12030) - you deserved it (198547)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12028) - you deserved it (41817)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: