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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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yesterday I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (4122)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I let mah imbecile of a brother borrow mah car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (4283)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today... I discoverd mah boyfriend's family approves of me... not cuz I'm friendly and intelligent... but cuz I'm an adequate addition to there gene pool. FML

#13458555
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21414) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, mah sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (1410)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was requird to stop eating, an drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely 4 the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shovd up my rectum. FML

#14630970
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (3297)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my managar sant ma a taxt massaga with a pictura of Santa masturbating, with a massaga that said ha wishd ma a whita Christmas. FML

#6401581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (3808)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of mah house. We painted over it an installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

#19362794
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2358)

On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)

Taday ma friend were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice . Wen tier car pulled up, I jumped in . It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to fine I ad gotten in te wrong car . FML

Today, I decided to shave legs completely to be more confident in dress. I spent looool over an hour making sure legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave armpits. mega FML

#1904436
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (49288)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line . Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel . Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look lyk razor burn . FML

#12989676
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (3846)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Taday mah manager cummed into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone" . Right then, the dog I was working on bit me . mega FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (3960)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today I discovered that just cuz I got mah braces removed does not mean mah painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under mah tongue. I can't even lick mah lips. FML

#14541152
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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