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Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

#20894041
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (1903)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

#14011606
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (4220)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by brelni - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (29557)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

#3740095
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (57895)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:41am - intimacy - by unlucky_number13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19141) - you deserved it (2244)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (10065)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (16291)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (22871)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (51785)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

#19190899
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (4708)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Vandrefalk - Norway

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19127) - you deserved it (1924)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2979)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)



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