Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (4072)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (5292)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (51443)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2872)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2366)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2631)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (9985)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (2712)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (35413)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (19520)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (2809)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: