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Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (1280)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (5855)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (2539)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (1766)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2701)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2835)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (4570)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (53664)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (2160)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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