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Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 1:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

by Dr_Dolittle / 01/12/2010 at 10:27am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2011 at 1:39am / United States / Money

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

by donnap / 06/09/2012 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

by anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 6:52am / United States / Health

Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML

by I'mMike / 08/01/2015 at 4:19pm / United States (Florida) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

by Dave B / 11/25/2011 at 1:59am / Reserved / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

by NotSoComfortable / 12/17/2015 at 4:10am / Italy (Veneto) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

by thatssickkk / 02/17/2010 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction, I was the only one who received a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

by Chris / 11/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Love