Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (2254)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

#8930944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm - money - by yessssir - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

#19433649
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (2312)

On 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm - love - by Stinky. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (8107)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (1798)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (18326)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (9438)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (1991)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (40850)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (15840)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: