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Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

#19016688
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (6144)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:04am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (8067)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17420) - you deserved it (42602)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I bought my new electric razor. I tried it, and washed it. I started to shake it, in order to get rid of the water. It was pretty slippy, and it exploded on the floor of my bathroom. The warranty doesn't cover this, I guess. FML

#377
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17418) - you deserved it (7340)

On 11/23/2008 at 11:44am - money - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (1567)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17415) - you deserved it (2236)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17405) - you deserved it (2077)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17403) - you deserved it (30734)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17403) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

#19265629
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17402) - you deserved it (8133)

On 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by anonamous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

#12266156
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (26577)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm - money - by Jay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)



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