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Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (59118)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (9054)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (11431)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (6657)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2863)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (7654)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (1825)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (10229)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (9857)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (32845)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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