Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (3898)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML

#18522067
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (12944)

On 12/15/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by Ms. Heartless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2745)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (5866)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (10812)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (1968)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (6747)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (3513)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (9265)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (8331)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (7604)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: