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Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (1871)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (7102)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (7082)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (2735)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (54412)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (6706)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (3019)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (1893)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (1907)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (3776)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (7032)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

#20039795
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (1522)

On 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by ipayyourbillsgorramit (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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