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Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

#8736997
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

#19239512
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (2682)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by hungry - Canada

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (1910)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

#19656239
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18591) - you deserved it (4200)

On 05/21/2012 at 7:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18584) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18580) - you deserved it (5926)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (89375)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (6722)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (12573)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#3620845
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (53510)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - kids - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

#8116532
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (4959)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (4267)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML



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