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Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

#19400366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (3721)

On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (7771)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (7006)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

#19573864
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (4692)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18680) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (4878)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18675) - you deserved it (2691)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (16264)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (6060)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (1898)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (2125)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (64820)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (14350)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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