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Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (8719)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (7789)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML

#21423649
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (1534)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by hmdge1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (1341)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

#21430623
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (1913)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:57am - misc - by cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (9530)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

#20084697
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (2295)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (7214)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (9430)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

#17582783
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (7922)

On 08/26/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (3158)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (1561)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States



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