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Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (7044)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (8084)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (53783)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (9369)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (22358)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (2096)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (7565)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (1958)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (2169)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (2692)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (4006)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (9507)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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