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Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12342) - you deserved it (30929)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

#15232480
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12339) - you deserved it (29596)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12335) - you deserved it (30488)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12332) - you deserved it (42758)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (42902)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (31115)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (34582)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

#12212873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12323) - you deserved it (22475)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm - love - by nitroman64 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12317) - you deserved it (47562)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (47021)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (63485)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12303) - you deserved it (68777)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (54193)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom



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