Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (2635)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (3952)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (46864)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (3583)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (70116)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (9594)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (8590)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (21962)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

#20069823
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (3347)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (12442)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (1394)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: