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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (7254)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (2127)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (62525)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (17348)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (5223)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (8243)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

#17694865
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (2648)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (2016)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (42943)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

#19478147
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (2314)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML

#8480330
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (8807)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Ennui (woman) - United States (Texas)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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