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Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

#19526699
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (2175)

On 04/25/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

#19661227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (5689)

On 05/22/2012 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous - Philippines

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (67142)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (23990)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

#19605681
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (5077)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16498) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

#540
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (2211)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:43pm - work - by No name - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16485) - you deserved it (27114)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

#2472
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16486) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by Teen - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

#19562532
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:18am - work - by tillyg15 - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16480) - you deserved it (50917)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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