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Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (3300)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (6562)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17087) - you deserved it (25907)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

#546
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (3300)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:30am - misc - by ladyhead - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17078) - you deserved it (3797)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17075) - you deserved it (4293)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17074) - you deserved it (3229)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17070) - you deserved it (44089)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (2335)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17044) - you deserved it (52880)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML



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