Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (1818)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (8768)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (5588)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

#20026833
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (1523)

On 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (1385)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (4537)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (21905)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (8095)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (3436)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: