Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

#19598076
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (1819)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (5064)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (4700)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (5825)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (42817)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (43528)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (4798)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (6182)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (51098)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (11650)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: