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Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (5376)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21422985
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2600)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:38pm - love - by firehurts - United States (New York)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (11393)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (5725)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (5618)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

#21470739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/20/2015 at 7:57pm - work - by person - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

#21481447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

#21450713
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (3245)

On 08/02/2015 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (12572)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (7707)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (7238)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)



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