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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

#14894190
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (5384)

On 02/08/2011 at 9:46am - health - by mmromig - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (2822)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (7238)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (4130)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

#18362103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/27/2011 at 12:30am - health - by jogger (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

#9128496
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:31am - misc - by Lea (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (6742)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (18503)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (2362)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States



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