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Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (2019)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (3282)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

#17403392
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (5395)

On 08/08/2011 at 1:30am - work - by Dispute (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (4988)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21920) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (2338)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (3137)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

#13798329
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (4174)

On 11/11/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by robbyrabbit (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (6797)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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