Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

#7534746
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you deserved it (6519)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by ashley_skillz06 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (4781)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18002) - you deserved it (6080)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (23318)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

#18528725
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17998) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by HR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17998) - you deserved it (2984)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

#19971657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17997) - you deserved it (2421)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:58pm - animals - by summerbabe77 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (45814)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 10:30 feeling great and saying to myself, "Thank goodness it's the weekend!" I then realized it's Friday and I missed my final. FML

#10973350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (32717)

On 06/04/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by H05T1L3 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (88768)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (2085)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: