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Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (81929)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (3738)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (88331)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

#19563629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19690) - you deserved it (6166)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (7161)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (43604)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (6888)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (11168)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

#7031264
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19679) - you deserved it (2128)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (4462)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (4206)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML

#464994
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (42997)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (1830)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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