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Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (1860)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML

#430302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17825) - you deserved it (59426)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (59698)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (2016)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (49824)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (25206)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

#4589153
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (41843)

On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

#19621126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (1740)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:39am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (34259)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (38982)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (2107)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (55545)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)



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