Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

#6991981
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (4789)

On 12/28/2009 at 11:58am - intimacy - by disapointed girl - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15010) - you deserved it (3404)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

#19562532
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (3937)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:18am - work - by tillyg15 - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15009) - you deserved it (36568)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14999) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14998) - you deserved it (22098)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14998) - you deserved it (23652)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (35144)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14990) - you deserved it (17834)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a co-worker gave me a couple of CDs he said he wanted me to listen to. I got excited, thinking that they were playlists he'd made for me. They were self-help tracks. FML

#20104274
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14989) - you deserved it (1771)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:09pm - work - by The Last Cockbender (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (2741)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (32646)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (8751)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: