Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (5201)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (7032)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (1949)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2290)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (4188)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

#14081508
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (5426)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:03am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (7048)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (3075)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (5985)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (1613)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: