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Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

#20025166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (1647)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by rainbows? more like shitstorms (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21856) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (53651)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (4570)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (2159)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21851) - you deserved it (17914)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML

#20104336
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (3027)

On 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21851) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (62076)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (48708)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (48370)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1897)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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