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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (6526)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (17573)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (1589)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

#20049664
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (5213)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

#19741158
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (11278)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm - work - by Mark - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (6833)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (151858)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (7414)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML

#19550881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (3494)

On 04/29/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (11008)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)



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