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Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (2094)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18463) - you deserved it (3603)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (1504)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18460) - you deserved it (3096)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (13029)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (4856)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18455) - you deserved it (11247)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18454) - you deserved it (5920)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18454) - you deserved it (27945)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18453) - you deserved it (4503)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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