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Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (51372)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19228) - you deserved it (1794)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (25235)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

#1083
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (2135)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:57am - love - by bbns - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (7137)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (36316)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (2651)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (32912)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19205) - you deserved it (1677)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (61968)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19202) - you deserved it (2975)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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