Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (8108)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (1779)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (2394)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (3103)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (59119)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (5254)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (9055)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (11431)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (6657)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2863)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (7655)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: