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Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (2773)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (5392)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (5820)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (2338)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (9484)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (1882)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (11003)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (3203)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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