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Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (29738)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (23645)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

#949
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16609) - you deserved it (6615)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm - work - by Carrie - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16607) - you deserved it (2809)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (41644)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (76888)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (12262)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (6048)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16592) - you deserved it (4260)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (4112)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (4251)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)



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