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Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (1613)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (13675)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (7045)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (1457)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (8084)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (53785)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (7565)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (1653)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (1958)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (9369)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (22358)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (2097)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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