Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

#540
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12445) - you deserved it (1793)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:43pm - work - by No name - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12439) - you deserved it (38915)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

#12473698
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12435) - you deserved it (40096)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by kggggg - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (24696)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I wanted to change out of my bikini for the ride home from the beach. There wasn't a bathroom near, so I went to change in front of a suburban, parked far away from all the people. I took off my suit, hear the car's horn honk, only to find that the car was completely packed with old men. FML

#1141291
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12428) - you deserved it (59619)

On 04/20/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by steph (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

#6136061
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12428) - you deserved it (25222)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12421) - you deserved it (3067)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45477)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12415) - you deserved it (25498)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12411) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (32722)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

#1408593
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (48604)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12404) - you deserved it (7386)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: