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Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16755) - you deserved it (45925)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16753) - you deserved it (5140)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

#3249982
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16752) - you deserved it (45148)

On 06/26/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by Saucy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

#19882895
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16737) - you deserved it (4959)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (8259)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

#7234085
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (46933)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16719) - you deserved it (4667)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16718) - you deserved it (41118)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16713) - you deserved it (34238)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

#12992110
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (20394)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by coolcucumber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

#6242607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (23096)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16701) - you deserved it (32132)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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