Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (1760)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

#526
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (1800)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:55am - misc - by Melie-Melo - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (3821)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (42920)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, while at an important meeting at work, I got to watch helplessly as a police officer gave me a parking meter ticket. Added to that my boss chewed me out for "never paying attention and staring out the window during meetings". FML

#15756717
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (10299)

On 04/12/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by Kevin -

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (4969)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (3622)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (10342)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (5358)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (11405)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

#18468600
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (3233)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: