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Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

#496
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/11/2008 at 9:30pm - misc - by groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (2687)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

#18077732
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (4496)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:31am - work - by rowanjusmc - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (5049)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (7712)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19393) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (6700)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (4198)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (1222)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19377) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (2215)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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