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Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (56709)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (35566)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (1721)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (1626)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (39641)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (7841)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (42049)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (20696)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

#13155074
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17902) - you deserved it (3377)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:36am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

#14017590
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17898) - you deserved it (18155)

On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (72844)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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