Birthday, Food, Sleep, Sleepwalking and Sleep eating: The sleepwalkers are at it again!

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 299

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By magicmaster19 - 20/06/2019 14:30

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 248

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 11:01

Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 153

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 469

You deserved it 5 286

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 080

You deserved it 1 991

And I Oop

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 23:01

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 275

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 40 652

Hmmm, candy

By SleepEat - 25/02/2021 21:30

Today, I found out that I eat candy in my sleep. For two months I've been dieting because of my weight and high risk of diabetes. I now know why nothing has changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 160

By asdf - 02/02/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 304

You deserved it 2 824

Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 116

HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 5 937

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 11 March 2021 2:42

Doesn't matter -- you stole her birthday candy. You need to buy her triple the amount you ate. Lay off the Ambien, toots.

DoctorPALO 14

Thursday 11 March 2021 18:54

You ate her candy in your sleep? Why wasn't it put away someplace where you wouldn't sleepwalk to it? Is she even aware that you're a sleepwalker?

Comments

Regis Bent 12

Tuesday 9 March 2021 5:42

If she's acting that way, you have nothing to lose, tell her that you did it to do her a favour, she doesn't need anymore candy.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 11 March 2021 2:42

Doesn't matter -- you stole her birthday candy. You need to buy her triple the amount you ate. Lay off the Ambien, toots.

DoctorPALO 14

Thursday 11 March 2021 18:54

You ate her candy in your sleep? Why wasn't it put away someplace where you wouldn't sleepwalk to it? Is she even aware that you're a sleepwalker?

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 76

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 134

You deserved it 9 983

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 3 593

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 240

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in two years with the guy she told me "not to worry about" and they were celebrating their 3-year anniversary together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 137

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 175

You deserved it 9 580

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 250

You deserved it 48 179