Love: Great date - FML

Great date

By okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 1 747

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Poor me

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 03:00

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 242

By Morganisoverrated - 22/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 983

You deserved it 354

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 4 420

Party zone!!

By helloworld92 - 31/01/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 267

You deserved it 8 109

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

Dodged some bullshit

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 181

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 653

You deserved it 76 904

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 415

You deserved it 6 081

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 769

Next

Top comments

alycion 38

Wednesday 11 December 2019 4:26

Why do people get drunk to make a move? So they can blame being wasted on if out blows up? I never got that. If someone tried making a move on me when drunk, i would walk away. If you like me, talk to me about it when you are sober.

Kurliez408 32

Tuesday 10 December 2019 20:04

ydi for getting so drunk, bad for your health and ruined your shot

Comments

DonULFonso 22

Tuesday 10 December 2019 20:03

Open your mouth, right... but not to puke, you douche!

Kurliez408 32

Tuesday 10 December 2019 20:04

ydi for getting so drunk, bad for your health and ruined your shot

mas12806 24

Wednesday 11 December 2019 0:24

And your enamel

Kimberley Michelle Whitley 16

Tuesday 10 December 2019 21:31

Yeah, I remember Mean Girls too.

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 10 December 2019 22:28

While giving him a bj, I hope!

mfranks19891989 10

Wednesday 11 December 2019 2:48

Going in for in for a bj and instead you puke on him nice move

alycion 38

Wednesday 11 December 2019 4:26

Why do people get drunk to make a move? So they can blame being wasted on if out blows up? I never got that. If someone tried making a move on me when drunk, i would walk away. If you like me, talk to me about it when you are sober.

mfranks19891989 10

Friday 13 December 2019 2:33

Sometimes when you get drunk is make you do stupid things and also boosts your confidence

daengh 15

Friday 13 December 2019 20:11

Something similar worked for someone I know. They've been married for over 20 years now.

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The Top

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 160

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 067

The Top

Today, we were looking forward to spending x-mas eve with our best friends of 13 years before moving across the country where we know no one. That was the plan. The stomach flu virus has a different plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 529

You deserved it 476

Today, I was taking a test and thought I was doing great until I realized I was writing all my answers on the question paper, not the answer sheet. By the time I noticed, there were only five minutes left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 367

Today, while I was working at McDonald’s, a customer ordered the Shamrock Shake. I told him that due to supply chain issues, it was sold out. He threw a tantrum, then blamed all of us for, “Putting Sleepy Joe in office.” He stormed out, yelling, “Let’s go Brandon.” I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 226

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 1 761

Today, I bought a rather unique shirt for my boyfriend, planning to give it to him for Christmas. He showed up wearing the same shirt. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 516

You deserved it 681

Today, I found out my fiancé is in the market for a new girlfriend. How? He used my credit card to sign up for 3 dating sites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 396

You deserved it 3 162