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Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (25022)
On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -
Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (16833)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by LtlCheeseburger (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7442) - you deserved it (29661)
On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7436) - you deserved it (19780)
On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7431) - you deserved it (41391)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7431) - you deserved it (46145)
On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (75993)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (21730)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (44428)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)
Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (21899)
On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7422) - you deserved it (32893)
On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (91276)
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (36550)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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