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Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

#18823126
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (5908)

On 01/16/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (4875)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2648)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

#21480731
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (2160)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (1581)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (7771)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

#8082566
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (4319)

On 02/10/2010 at 6:47am - love - by kstaa - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (8747)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

#17726304
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (3649)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by facepalm - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML



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