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Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (6174)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (2911)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (6372)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

#6823511
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (3493)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (1620)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

#19160986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm - kids - by jj159 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2765)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (8988)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (7104)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (3918)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)



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