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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (7527)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I take a few swigs and notice a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I feel something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

#15689448
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (5603)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (11106)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20593) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (9293)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
112 comments

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20593) - you deserved it (5493)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (37256)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (5168)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (6253)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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