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Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (5302)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (4696)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (2126)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (17286)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (7548)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I found my pit bull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He had peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60 dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

#6602285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (5959)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by dogless (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (43881)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (7039)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (3055)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)



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