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Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (4660)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

#6931978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (4801)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (2282)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (4431)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (13502)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23983) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (4412)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (8149)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (7875)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (16233)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -



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