Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

by wowza / 01/31/2009 at 11:52am / United States / Love

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

by ew / 10/27/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML

by me / 01/16/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

by Scumbagmemory / 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

by working_as_usual / 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

by kylie18xx21 / 02/01/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

by jynxisadouchebag / 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

by boo / 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy