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Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (2804)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

#15259296
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (4419)

On 03/10/2011 at 2:53am - misc - by jules - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (6046)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

#14109694
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (4585)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:50pm - animals - by Addicted2FML303 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

#13565475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm - work - by level6 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (4229)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

#15035119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (7302)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by inthecold (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (3717)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (5039)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (2733)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (38695)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States



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