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Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

#19667895
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2178)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from the police saying they found my stolen car. Not only did I not know my car was stolen, but it was completely stripped. No tires or doors left, and the engine was taken apart. FML

#8331359
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (1888)

On 02/16/2010 at 4:37am - money - by troyrm85 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (7685)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (12717)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

#14669147
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (4252)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:36am - misc - by GuillermoCJ - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

#8846079
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (2133)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

#17588910
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (2778)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:20pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (6735)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (87949)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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