Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (2921)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (8556)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (4401)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (1776)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (6267)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (5683)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (1612)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (1526)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (52204)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

#17743700
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (11056)

On 09/14/2011 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (67098)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: