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Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (24025)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (36047)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employee's decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (41148)
On 07/29/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Toast514 - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got a $200 bonus at work and was super excited about getting a plane ticket to see my family. On the way back from work I got a $300 speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (31287)
On 10/14/2010 at 8:43pm - money - by copmagnet - United States
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (57769)
On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (15335)
On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (33865)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm - money - by brokeaf - United States
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (23942)
On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (23068)
On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (49256)
On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (66426)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (13510)
On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I think my friends were trying to tell me something with all my Christmas gifts being mostly perfume, deodorant, and soap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (18671)
On 12/26/2010 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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