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Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

#279813
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123345) - you deserved it (6622)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:59am - misc - by Ondskansgris (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123122) - you deserved it (75482)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122930) - you deserved it (22254)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122134) - you deserved it (7502)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

#225762
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121484) - you deserved it (5789)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121074) - you deserved it (8997)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120705) - you deserved it (5801)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120250) - you deserved it (5508)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119574) - you deserved it (4796)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119259) - you deserved it (6613)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119101) - you deserved it (7415)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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