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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125656) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124888) - you deserved it (12085)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
822 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123973) - you deserved it (75667)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123709) - you deserved it (7598)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123548) - you deserved it (22296)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

#225762
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122154) - you deserved it (5808)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121874) - you deserved it (22707)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121874) - you deserved it (4911)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121660) - you deserved it (9029)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121336) - you deserved it (5822)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121325) - you deserved it (4899)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120858) - you deserved it (5526)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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