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Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112152) - you deserved it (5484)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111921) - you deserved it (4813)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111897) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111581) - you deserved it (5467)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111203) - you deserved it (4302)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111064) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110757) - you deserved it (20142)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110208) - you deserved it (4829)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

#225762
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110165) - you deserved it (4900)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109966) - you deserved it (7952)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109914) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109717) - you deserved it (11921)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)



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