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Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

#127425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112545) - you deserved it (5276)

On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111880) - you deserved it (4802)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111767) - you deserved it (16446)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111652) - you deserved it (5754)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111419) - you deserved it (8335)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110907) - you deserved it (5975)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110811) - you deserved it (4422)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110778) - you deserved it (8176)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110465) - you deserved it (7211)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110223) - you deserved it (7506)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109889) - you deserved it (12756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109776) - you deserved it (8568)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)



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