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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99955) - you deserved it (7236)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99600) - you deserved it (5896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98877) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98724) - you deserved it (7527)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98170) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98148) - you deserved it (4996)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97921) - you deserved it (6726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97736) - you deserved it (244229)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97658) - you deserved it (3839)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97535) - you deserved it (4907)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

#1475215
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97210) - you deserved it (15711)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

#266591
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97013) - you deserved it (8541)

On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)



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