Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

#127425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111095) - you deserved it (5183)

On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110966) - you deserved it (4746)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110634) - you deserved it (8171)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110613) - you deserved it (10152)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110329) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110072) - you deserved it (7498)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109654) - you deserved it (12747)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109642) - you deserved it (8560)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

#1120494
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109505) - you deserved it (10780)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108654) - you deserved it (4296)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108390) - you deserved it (5791)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108198) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: