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Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110505) - you deserved it (10146)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110179) - you deserved it (7195)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109993) - you deserved it (7732)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109520) - you deserved it (7453)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109511) - you deserved it (8557)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109434) - you deserved it (12740)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

#1120494
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109380) - you deserved it (10775)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109371) - you deserved it (4871)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108557) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108280) - you deserved it (5788)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

#874593
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107140) - you deserved it (8860)

On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106605) - you deserved it (4453)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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