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Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91544) - you deserved it (7454)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91062) - you deserved it (5848)
On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90933) - you deserved it (3193)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90928) - you deserved it (5327)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (90804) - you deserved it (5252)
On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90310) - you deserved it (3810)
On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90146) - you deserved it (4001)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89654) - you deserved it (7636)
On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89515) - you deserved it (4727) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89508) - you deserved it (14396)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89206) - you deserved it (14359)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89171) - you deserved it (2695)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88745) - you deserved it (9150)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Monday 17 June 2013
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