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Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104204) - you deserved it (6081)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104130) - you deserved it (15157)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104074) - you deserved it (6061)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103842) - you deserved it (16244)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103735) - you deserved it (23873)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103597) - you deserved it (10419)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103575) - you deserved it (25434)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103515) - you deserved it (24268)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103433) - you deserved it (6029)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103368) - you deserved it (11412)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103317) - you deserved it (22406)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

#3237378
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102999) - you deserved it (9893)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102943) - you deserved it (5150)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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