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Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principle came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85983) - you deserved it (3666)
On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85803) - you deserved it (192099)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (85801) - you deserved it (36515)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85786) - you deserved it (7071)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85716) - you deserved it (14248)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85661) - you deserved it (10680)
On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (85196) - you deserved it (3575)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85100) - you deserved it (19070)
On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84830) - you deserved it (11959)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (84810) - you deserved it (16568)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84679) - you deserved it (4526)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84475) - you deserved it (20143)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84206) - you deserved it (7906)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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