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Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106291) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106280) - you deserved it (7840)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105665) - you deserved it (6456)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

#402157
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105594) - you deserved it (4286)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by dxplq876 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

#266591
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105048) - you deserved it (9370)

On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104193) - you deserved it (276675)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103877) - you deserved it (15144)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103623) - you deserved it (16212)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103442) - you deserved it (10411)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103403) - you deserved it (25416)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103332) - you deserved it (24247)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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