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Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84148) - you deserved it (2678)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by froyo (man) - United States
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84037) - you deserved it (4028)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83939) - you deserved it (5498)
On 03/22/2009 at 5:05am - intimacy - by trina (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83795) - you deserved it (4503)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83582) - you deserved it (5820)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83520) - you deserved it (3823)
On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83405) - you deserved it (5278)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by STUPID BIRTHDAY (man) - United States
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83404) - you deserved it (4747)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I flew into LAX. I get nervous when I fly so I brought my recently deceased dad's ashes with me in my purse. They're in a quarter sized urn which is melted shut. Security didn't believe it contained ashes so they broke it open spilling my dad all over the table. Sorry Daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83394) - you deserved it (22772)
On 06/18/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by CaliGirl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83389) - you deserved it (15536)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83362) - you deserved it (6467)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83312) - you deserved it (23674)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83084) - you deserved it (4512)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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