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Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100381) - you deserved it (10034)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100373) - you deserved it (4351)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99953) - you deserved it (11664)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99563) - you deserved it (5427)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99453) - you deserved it (5689)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

#592595
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99243) - you deserved it (26059)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99201) - you deserved it (22766)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99201) - you deserved it (23169)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99062) - you deserved it (10715)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99020) - you deserved it (15055)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98794) - you deserved it (5979)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

#436547
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98359) - you deserved it (18232)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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