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Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131146) - you deserved it (10228)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131061) - you deserved it (9865)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131063) - you deserved it (8552)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130127) - you deserved it (7321)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129009) - you deserved it (14533)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128825) - you deserved it (6288)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127918) - you deserved it (7781)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127374) - you deserved it (7025)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127119) - you deserved it (6725)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127040) - you deserved it (6462)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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