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Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141658) - you deserved it (6410)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139985) - you deserved it (11075)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138355) - you deserved it (6924)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138084) - you deserved it (15689)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137827) - you deserved it (8588)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137782) - you deserved it (7751)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137085) - you deserved it (7126)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136236) - you deserved it (10603)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135717) - you deserved it (7315)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135198) - you deserved it (6000)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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