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Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134444) - you deserved it (11960)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132823) - you deserved it (10268)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132241) - you deserved it (7358)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132226) - you deserved it (9910)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132109) - you deserved it (8114)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130551) - you deserved it (6361)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130437) - you deserved it (6688)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130073) - you deserved it (14581)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128868) - you deserved it (6822)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128450) - you deserved it (7062)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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