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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (109704) - you deserved it (10332)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109446) - you deserved it (6904)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (108830) - you deserved it (10727)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108471) - you deserved it (4842)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108317) - you deserved it (5319)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108142) - you deserved it (32936)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)
Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108135) - you deserved it (7136)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108126) - you deserved it (4239)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107657) - you deserved it (9365)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107382) - you deserved it (5384)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107160) - you deserved it (5823)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107083) - you deserved it (4767)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106988) - you deserved it (7718)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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