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Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (2107)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (1656)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (2502)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (2463)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (12758)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (2391)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25704) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (3633)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (4109)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5969) - you deserved it (32431)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (6214)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (5555)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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