Intimacy: Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML - FML

By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 741

You deserved it 84 066

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 065

You deserved it 4 389

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 560

You deserved it 13 133

By Username - 02/08/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 458

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 14/07/2016 00:56 - Canada - Concord

Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 166

You deserved it 1 570

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 3 982

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 34 020

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 983

You deserved it 8 237

Caught

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 840

You deserved it 76 207

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 967

Next

Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

Friday 11 November 2011 18:59

Wrong kind of ********, champ.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Friday 11 November 2011 19:00

You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?

Comments

winfieldALJD 6

Friday 11 November 2011 19:20

If there was a word that was at least 1000 times more worse than "pain" , I would say it right now. That made me shiver!

Mr_Alarm 12

Friday 11 November 2011 19:28

Too bad there's no word that's 1000 times even greater more badder worse than "pain"...

maryam8869 7

Friday 11 November 2011 19:22

how .. and why ?

ScarletBloom 14

Friday 11 November 2011 19:25

That's not an appropriate way to become a transsexual.

rogueprincess69 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:25

Asparagus

chickenpie90 16

Friday 11 November 2011 19:25

Haha

Savra_fml 17

Friday 11 November 2011 19:26

Keep trying OP. I think you have a great chance to win a Darwin Award. Best of luck, mate!

arkid24 1

Friday 11 November 2011 19:27

Wtf? Im gonna go out on a limb and say you deserved that because i cant think of any possible situation that would require a penis and a deskfan and end well

j_cat187 19

Friday 11 November 2011 19:27

How many bowls did you smoke?

garethsmart 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:28

Well done sir!!

SirEBC 7

Friday 11 November 2011 20:54

Thanks.

captainfalcon7 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:29

trying to impress the boss huh?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Birds Sleep Animals Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 236

You deserved it 37 867

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 3 386

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 121

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 342

You deserved it 1 136

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 435

You deserved it 40 424

Today, I went to spend some time with my family. Unbeknownst to me, while I was having quality time with my family, my boyfriend of a year and a half was packing up his belongings and going back to his estranged wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 218

Today, my first day of going to the gym, some gym bro dropped his weights, which you’re not supposed to do, right on the top of my foot. I have complex crush fractures in most of my foot bones, I’m going to need surgeries, probably metal pins, and I can’t put weight on it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 94