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Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

karcummings's comment : Sounds like you need to give her a lesson on what and what's not healthy.

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Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (2738)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

MELKOZAR's comment : Because everyone knows pizza is more important than health!

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Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (14661)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

mexican_music's comment : How the fuck is that out of instinct?

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Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

#21387713
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (9438)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:44pm - love - by :/ - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (3618)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (2915)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (2498)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (3379)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

#21387438
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (3033)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (2344)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (2755)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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