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Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

EverestMelting's comment : Well about 14% of people living in Italy speak French but other than that, I don't know what else I can give her for that.

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Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40778) - you deserved it (23057)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

VanOBrien's comment : Guess you two are now breast friends as well as sisters, huh?

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Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (4558)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38664) - you deserved it (10353)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

MzZombicidal's comment : At least you two have something in common! It could have just been a super awkward, quiet date!

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Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (21092)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (5146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (5439)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (4038)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34505) - you deserved it (9746)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (2935)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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