Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (5332)
On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54351) - you deserved it (4840)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55183) - you deserved it (4752)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
↑ DocBastard's comment : That screaming was actually your daughter after your baby latched on. I hear that hurts.
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (9158)
↑ DocBastard's comment : Really? She hit you with a mace? Where does one buy a big spiked iron ball on a stick these days? I could really use one.
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (5324)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (35975)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (41002)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (6508)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (3059)
On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45726) - you deserved it (4622)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48171) - you deserved it (6720)
On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (60193)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49199) - you deserved it (9295)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ hama806's comment : Well that was a bit insensitive of her. It's her loss.
See all the comments →