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Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

#21454921
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (1691)

On 08/11/2015 at 8:00pm - misc - by SY5623 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Davids9199's comment : Dude fuck her and people like that honestly you can do a lot better than that bitch

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Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Soninuva's comment : This is where you call HR.

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Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML

#21454874
101 comments

tdawg91's comment : What the hell are you telling these people??!!

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Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

Today, at Subway, the pretty girl serving made me so nervous by that I forgot what cucumbers were called. FML

#21454765
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:22pm - misc - by it's awkward - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

#21454749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (1574)

On 08/11/2015 at 11:30am - misc - by DevastatedWoman (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML

#21454744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (1678)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:56am - misc - by ssjfml - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

#21454739
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (4907)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

Today, I signed the lease on my first apartment alone with my boyfriend. We've lived here a month before we got to sign. Today is also the day my neighbors decided to show how they're night owls: all I hear is banging on the walls and them loudly talking and yelling. This will be a long year. FML

#21454658
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (1611)

On 08/11/2015 at 3:43am - misc - by ZombieGirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (4848)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

#21454592
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (1569)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:20am - intimacy - by yamaha_313 - United States (Tennessee)



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