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Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

ComoEsJuan's comment : Is your last name PeopleEater?

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Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (3351)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

#21292929
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/05/2014 at 7:48pm - health - by cjhgvb - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML

#21292851
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (1790)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:52pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

#21292812
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by Loverscry (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

ddlovatolover's comment : I'd take her drink since she doesn't seem to want it anymore...

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Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

peacheso's comment : You need to invest in some cameras and an alarm system ASAP!

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Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (8537)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (2683)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML



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