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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML

#21388867
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (1722)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (4647)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

HeyItsCamilo's comment : elder people,they get to a point were they just dont give a fuck.

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Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (1592)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (8932)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

leopardwilliam's comment : Had this happen to me. Not fun at all. Hope he's okay and don't feel too bad, you forgot. It happens occasionally

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Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML

#21388611
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (4745)

On 04/06/2015 at 12:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

cmonger's comment : Just take her tomorrow. I'm sure she'll understand.

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Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

#21388350
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (4367)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (2167)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)



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