Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (7052)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Mercyfulsin's comment : I'd suggest putting the phone on silent next time you go for a job interview!

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Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49170) - you deserved it (4644)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Higamalia's comment : Im beary sad to hear of your grizzly accident. Truly a black day for you.

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Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

gennyv's comment : Ugh, having one myself, I know how it feels. People always tell me to stop talking with a horrible 'British accent' also.

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Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (8960)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54051) - you deserved it (11163)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (6653)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

#21198697
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (3305)

On 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm - misc - by fleatitting fame (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (6426)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37729) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42906) - you deserved it (2975)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (38357)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, I was reviewing documents at work, only to find one of my coworkers has been signing off on paperwork, claiming he's been walking one of the residents daily. Aside from being a double leg amputee, the patient died two weeks ago. The state review board comes this week. FML

#21198473
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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