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Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (39837)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

revan546's comment : Why didn't you just open all the windows? It wouldn't smell that bad..

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Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (4536)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

CryosFear's comment : Maybe he's secretly in charge of a cartel :P

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Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

#21268618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30289) - you deserved it (10344)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:20pm - work - by oopsydaisy (woman) - United States

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (2411)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Baustigt's comment : Yes, you'll never get anywhere in life with a boring name like Heather. You should change it to something like Titty Cha Cha, or Coco the Monkey. The job possibilities are endless.

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Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (7561)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (12697)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39312) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (33248)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States



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Friday 17 October 2014

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