Today, I was at work training for a new position. The girl who's been training me since I started decided to share about one of her tribe's proud, sacred traditions of eating raw, human flesh. I have another month shadowing her before I can work independently. I'm beyond disturbed. FML
by _sourdiesel7 / 11/10/2016 at 6:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
RememberSchlitz's comment : My tribe has a proud sacred tradition of not being cannibals. Yours too? Yours? You too. Amazing. Everybody in this place is from a tribe that doesn't walk around eating other tribes. Except you, Marge.
by I have Flashbacks Now / 11/10/2016 at 4:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
by KnowledgableEx / 11/10/2016 at 7:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by ConfusedGinger / 11/10/2016 at 6:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, after a couple of months of enjoying an informal parking arrangement with a local bank, I found out they sold their extra lot without telling me. The new owner's towing company heard about the deal, though. FML
by CaddyWhack / 11/18/2016 at 3:57pm / Transportation
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
by Rekt / 11/10/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML
by Rosie J. / 11/09/2016 at 9:45pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, my rather large boss told me how the company needs to save money, how we are going downhill fast, even suggesting that we might go bankrupt very soon. He then went on to ask me to go get him some very expensive scotch using the company credit card to, "help him cope with the stress." FML
by knuckleheadknock / 11/09/2016 at 9:11pm / Work
bartsj88's comment : I'm confused as to how describing your boss as "rather large" had any relevance to this FML.
by tiredstudent / 11/18/2016 at 8:56am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
superapple's comment : What hair? Your pubic hair?
Today, at my first AA meeting, my best friend thought it would be funny to burst in drunk and tell everyone that I was the champion at beer pong and that there was a party at my place after my "quitter club" ended. FML
by joeker124 / 11/18/2016 at 12:55am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous