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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

#21372843
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (2407)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

bearstyle22's comment : You dare live a healthy lifestyle in my town. Thats it, ticket.

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Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Jinxsie's comment : I'm sorry but did it even smell like an apple? C'mon now... I'm laughing at your pain. At least you didn't fall asleep. Or die...

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Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (2145)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

lex1459's comment : I bet that bothers you a hole punch.

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Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML

#21372539
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/11/2015 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

#21372437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (7806)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

#21372313
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8) - you deserved it (2367)

On 03/11/2015 at 1:32am - kids - by CasaDeLoser (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (20)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (3137)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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