Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (1827)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

RobinGoodfellow's comment : Good for you for telling the women, though. They had a right to know, sooner rather than later. Hopefully your parents' shouting made an impression and your brother doesn't do it again.

See all the comments →

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32183) - you deserved it (11569)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Awahso's comment : Well, only one option left. Go smack him around until you get your money back.

See all the comments →

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

whymeimsxy's comment : What an ass.

See all the comments →

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

#21335669
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:36am - work - by Tired - United States (California)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (6717)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (5830)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (3516)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (2595)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I paid someone $30 to give me a hickey so I could prove I had a social life. FML

#21335329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (21464)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by thirsty af - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: