Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. So I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes. But at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML

by ScarletBuckeye / 07/09/2016 at 12:38pm / Health

Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 12:29pm / Miscellaneous

Dotty8710's comment : You shouldn't let your friends opinion change how you initially felt about your hair. You loved it and if your friends don't, they suck..not you. I'm sure your hair color rocks! Own it.

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Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 11:14am / Work

inappropes's comment : Seems like something he should be fired for. Not very professional.

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Today, just like the past 2 weeks, I'm so broke that I only got to eat dinner because I went on a first date with a guy from Tinder. FML

by broke / 07/09/2016 at 3:36am / Money

rldostie's comment : I feel a little bad for your dates. No one likes to be used for money. Maybe I'm just a little too feminist, but I don't think it's fair that men are expected to pay for all the dates, or all of the date, and I don't think it's fair that some women use men for a free meal ticket. Now, if you genuinely were on a date with him and looking for an honest connection or hook up, then maybe okay? Still, ramen diners cost under a dollar and while not nutritious in the least, at least no one is being used.

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Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 12:09am / Kids

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

by LoveLost / 07/08/2016 at 10:57pm / Intimacy

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

by wantedphantom / 07/08/2016 at 10:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

by goldendarkness / 07/08/2016 at 9:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a California stop during a drive with my Driver's Ed teacher. He made me get out, hug the stop sign and apologize to it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 9:13pm / Transportation

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 6:09pm / Work

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

by samaris / 07/08/2016 at 5:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 2:47pm / Kids

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

by terribob1 / 07/08/2016 at 10:52am / Work