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Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (27939)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

bethanyhopkins's comment : There must have been a lot of chemistry.

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Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37451) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (4920)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36303) - you deserved it (5355)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Joshwarrior's comment : Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know

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Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (5332)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39144) - you deserved it (3554)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

pepsiisgross's comment : Some people are just idiots and have no respect.

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Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34425) - you deserved it (2259)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37390) - you deserved it (3412)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to take the train from my hometown to my university for a very important meeting concerning my foreign exchange program. When I finally arrived, I noticed a Post-it on the door: "Meeting cancelled, sick". I basically made a 9-hour day-trip for a half-an-hour walk. FML

#21100831
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/31/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (3849)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

#21100568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (6706)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by moms a baby - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML



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