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Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (8516)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

billyboef's comment : at least you won the game

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Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29934) - you deserved it (2683)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

whatsittoyabitch's comment : Tell him to hand over his glasses so you could try and find his penis :)

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Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33816) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

tj4234's comment : wow, your ex is a psycho... stay strong OP. You can do it!

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Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (3643)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (5573)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

#21291978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (6542)

On 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (6108)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

#21291857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (3847)

On 11/04/2014 at 9:01am - misc - by fuckshit (man) -

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (6411)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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