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Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (7511)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (32809)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

your_ma's comment : That's what you get for being a little bitch

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Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (26341)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

devildog562's comment : That's a little insensitive to you. Should have told her, " I just had a kid, what's your excuse ?".

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Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16324) - you deserved it (29883)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

ireply_wlyrics's comment : why would you do the hunger games salute at a bar mitzvah anyway?

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Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (3112)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30279) - you deserved it (4081)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (2233)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (15543)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (3171)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML



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