by dukemisery / 10/01/2016 at 1:34am / Hong Kong / Animals
by DezyCoCo / 10/01/2016 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Sadmom / 09/13/2016 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
by please knock / 09/13/2016 at 7:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
momogal's comment : Happened to me once. They knocked a bunch even after I said that the bathroom was occupied. The next thing I knew, a woman and her kid had forced the lock and walked in on me. Luckily, I had just pulled up my pants.
by eggman 583 / 09/13/2016 at 5:12pm / United States (New York) / Love
StormfrontX33's comment : You want someone that respects you and that is loyal anyway. Think of it as evolution weeding her out of your life. You can do better.
by Nic / 09/13/2016 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
by hahatofunny / 09/13/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love
WCARlover's comment : Well you're going to the gym for a reason...I'm sure the bigger biceps will come with time. A better personality for her probably will never come.
Today, following a 6-hour roundtrip after having lost both games from a baseball doubleheader, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my 4-year-old son was still up. After updating him on the day's results, he went off to bed with the words, "Good night, loser." FML
by Loser / 09/13/2016 at 8:10am / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
by JPlays / 09/12/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML
by epicgamer / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:51pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…