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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (13265)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

am_bugg's comment : Hmmm sex or a new puppy is equally as satisfying in my opinion.

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Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

#21293619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (6421)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

ZachColeA's comment : Well your dad's an ass

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Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (6405)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

LaColombianita's comment : At least he doesn't let people say shit to you. That was nice of him to have your back.

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Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (33058)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (2307)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (7550)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

#21293257
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (3550)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (2468)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

#21292980
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/05/2014 at 9:03pm - work - by jobless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36148) - you deserved it (2405)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)



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