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Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (5476)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Llama_Face89's comment : Could have been worse. Someone could have whipped out their dick.

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Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (2555)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

baseballbv's comment : It's sad that these people exist. Thank goodness for natural selection.

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Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19833) - you deserved it (25437)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

heyyyjune's comment : Holy crap!

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Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
150 comments

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (46188)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31660) - you deserved it (11698)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (2705)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42812) - you deserved it (15678)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

#21256044
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by mybad - United States

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)



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