Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's comment : I've worked retail. It's terrible. FYL for working retail.

See all the comments →

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (2081)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

#21386014
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (1693)

On 04/01/2015 at 6:09pm - misc - by ThirteenThirteen (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2042)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

teentee401's comment : How would choking even be making fun of the class?!

See all the comments →

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (9796)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

WCARlover's comment : That's an awesome prank...for anyone but your boss

See all the comments →

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (5847)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (4233)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (5198)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15064) - you deserved it (18021)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: