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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

#21457512
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:59am - misc - by Fartnonymous (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

skippydoda's comment : If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.

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Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

#21457473
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18198) - you deserved it (6248)

On 08/18/2015 at 3:07am - misc - by IrisKitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

ryannmichael's comment : Just run & walk around naked, you need to show your dominance.

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Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (1407)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

MrSassypants's comment : If he didn't want any guests to feel uncomfortable he shouldn't have showed up either. I'm sure they don't want a giant dick in their pictures.

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Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (1499)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML

#21457397
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (1557)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

#21457386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (1562)

On 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by sonice (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (8952)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (1800)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

#21457226
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND (man) - Canada

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

#21457207
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2086)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by ThroatSlasher (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)



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