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Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36009) - you deserved it (8439)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

flufee2's comment : You should know not to have chipotle before a big race... Ydi

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Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

briang959's comment : Alternate Dick Holding Disorder?

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Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (2705)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

GroupWorkSucks's comment : Some people are just unbelievably shitty. Sorry OP.

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Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (40404)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42451) - you deserved it (5466)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19813) - you deserved it (25423)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
150 comments

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML



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