Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML

by anonymous / 07/06/2016 at 9:53am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Flyndaran's comment : Opinion is not synonomous with wild incoherent BS. If you can't defend your opinion with logic, then it should be marked wrong.

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Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML

by rmonk / 07/06/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML

by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love

StormfrontX33's comment : Sounds like a simple crazy ex-fiancé to me.

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Today, I learned that my friends nicknamed me Snow White, not because I’ve got dark hair and very pale skin, but because I “only hook up with tiny dudes”. FML

by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Dave_Davington's comment : Just to clarify, what exactly do they mean by "tiny"? Because this could go one of two ways.

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Today, I was using the short urinal when I heard someone say, "Ahem!" in a loud voice. I looked back to see an angry little kid. He made me switch urinals so he could use the short one. I got urinal-evicted by a little boy. FML

by slingerslasher / 07/05/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, that awesome new dubstep song that I was rocking out to in my car was actually my transmission falling apart. FML

by El Jeffe / 07/05/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Transportation

Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML

by ShouldHaveDoneItMyself / 07/05/2016 at 1:04pm / Sudan / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom continued her search for a special, super-healthy laundry detergent that she knows makes me break out in hives. FML

by benjamin03 / 07/05/2016 at 12:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher marked a test question wrong, even though I was sure I got it right, so I went online to check. I found a government-approved website showing proof that my answer was correct. My teacher still counted it wrong, because, "we follow the book". That book's older than I am. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2016 at 12:19pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

by stupidteacher / 07/05/2016 at 11:02am / China (Guizhou) / Work

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

by Finn / 07/05/2016 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt the tag of my shirt bunch up in my skirt. As I reached into my skirt to rearrange it, it started moving. It was a four-inch cockroach. FML