Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (3039)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

TheSovietOnion's comment : No more midnight snacks for you

See all the comments →

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

OhWhoCares's comment : I feel for you OP. Half the struggle of flying is having to deal with the general public and shit like this happens. Hopefully your lip heals quickly. Although I'm not so sure I would've been able to hold myself together long enough to let her just waltz away after hurting my face...

See all the comments →

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

#21352465
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

feven's comment : Next time just don't clean and sit around with your siblings. Let's see if she likes that attitude better

See all the comments →

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

#21352274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (2375)

On 02/08/2015 at 7:19pm - love - by jimmy_poison - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

#21352213
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (1904)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

#21352130
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (3942)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:46pm - health - by walllflower - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (2979)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (2734)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: