Today, my boyfriend told me he only loves me sometimes. He explained what days he chooses to love me and what days he doesn't want to. I told him that's not how it works. He disagreed. He's 27. He still doesn't understand why this is a problem. FML
by Now What / 09/08/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Love
cacheson's comment : This reminds me of that YouTube kid who says he only likes his mommy when she gives him cookies. I think your boyfriend may actually be a two-year-old.
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought. Only after I broke up with him did I remember I lost that bra two months ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love
tantanpanda's comment : Good thing you broke up with him because he doesn't deserve to be with someone who punishes him for no reason. FYL because you lost someone who actually cares about you. I don't think many guys would take the chance and send their gf a picture of a bra they lost.
by Needlongerarms / 09/08/2016 at 8:56am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Geek
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Medieval_Unicorn's comment : You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening
Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML
by mermaidkeels / 09/08/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML
by Thatgirl112 / 09/07/2016 at 11:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.
by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 11:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by failedparenting / 09/07/2016 at 12:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ripped / 09/07/2016 at 10:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 10:00am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML
by mckenna9797 / 09/07/2016 at 7:16am / United States / Miscellaneous