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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML

#21333300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (3713)

On 01/08/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by licensed_ginger (woman) - United States (Ohio)

EJSwank's comment : And that's when you stop trying to help

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Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
111 comments

TrippingOnAcid's comment : Bitches be cray

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Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32123) - you deserved it (4796)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

crimsonprodigy's comment : The next time he wants to have sex, give him a box of Q-tips.

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Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

#21333074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/08/2015 at 12:24am - misc - by random - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (5115)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (6659)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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