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Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (33369)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Awesomeaxel's comment : Lesson to be learned. Don't be a dick

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Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (6853)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

chutney_02's comment : Since you're now friends, get him to give you free chips

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Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38938) - you deserved it (3574)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Nickb55's comment : If I were you I would also feel bad if it was my daughter who bought it too...

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Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (4500)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (5229)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

#21096559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (5381)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by student101 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (9570)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (3052)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17550) - you deserved it (42857)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML

#21096093
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm - misc - by fluent in two, unlike you (man) - Mexico

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39435) - you deserved it (4476)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML



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