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Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28374) - you deserved it (13997)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

gracehi's comment : That's what you get for eating all of our food's food.

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Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

#21264917
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (5785)

On 09/25/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (2768)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

TheLonesomeGamer's comment : Well she is just a hypocrite FYL

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Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Mr_Saikaly's comment : I hate it when parents throw things away without asking

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Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

#21264505
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33101) - you deserved it (2138)

On 09/24/2014 at 1:17pm - work - by AdriftInTheSeaOfPaperwork (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been two months since I started a three-year contract at a new job. So far, 5 people have resigned. Pretty sure I've joined a sinking ship. FML

#21264311
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (2593)

On 09/24/2014 at 3:15am - work - by SinkingShip (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

#21264230
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (2245)

On 09/24/2014 at 12:10am - misc - by youonlyneed2squares (woman) -

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (2560)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (5100)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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