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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

rachb007's comment : Unfriend, block, therapy.

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Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45766) - you deserved it (3750)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

rallison22's comment : That is so fucking messed up

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Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (10190)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

kred's comment : It's close to midnight, and something evils lurking in my pants....

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Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (2535)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (3380)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

#21351065
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (2729)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

#21350906
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm - health - by alostr1 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

#21350771
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (2753)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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